When you're dating someone who is in a relationship
Dating someone who is already in a relationship is a bad idea, especially because there are so many people involved and in the end someone always gets hurt, often in more ways than one.
You may have always heard that you should go after what you want and not let anything stop you. And yes, you should go after what you want, but only if it's healthy and doesn't cause harm. Dating someone who is already in a relationship is not healthy. Here's why:
1. They're not easy to trust
Often in these sort of relationships, there is a lot of lying going on. The person who is usually lied to is your partner's girlfriend/boyfriend. And if they're lying to that person, how sure are you that they're not lying to you. They may say something on the lines of: "I'm going to leave that person for you" or (maybe to discourage you from using a condom) "I don't sleep with that person anymore, you're the only one I'm sleeping with."
If they can lie to their partners, there's no guarantee that they are telling you the truth.
2. More partners, more risk
In a relationship where there are more than two people, it is always risky. Having a partner who has multiple partners puts you at risk of contracting sexually transmitted illnesses (STIs), including HIV. Even if the person is married, this doesn't mean they are using protection and not sleeping around. They could be sleeping with you and sleeping with others. Or their other partner could also be sleeping with others and then sleeping with them, putting YOU at risk. The point is, you can't be sure who is being faithful to whom when there are more than two people involved in a relationship.
3. It can make you feel low
Maybe in the beginning, dating someone else's boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife might make you feel good about yourself because it seems like they chose you over their partner, but eventually you might feel the opposite if the person continues to see their partner while seeing you. This is especially if you ask them to leave their partner and they refuse; stringing you along. It's not a great feeling when you feel like you're someone's second option or 'nighttime lover'. This can make you feel used.
Any relationship that you enter into should be a healthy one based on trust, honesty, support, commitment and respect. Someone who is already in a relationship can't always offer you all of these things because they already don't offer it in their current relationships.
The way they behave in their relationship is an example of what they could potentially do to you, when you think about it. Remember to put your emotional, mental and physical health first. A risky relationship is not a healthy relationship.
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