Bisexuality vs Questioning
Your sexuality is something that is a part of you. You might be sure of your sexuality or you could still be trying to understand it. Not everyone goes through the same journey when it comes to sexuality. You might also be at a point where you’re trying to understand everyone else’s sexuality as well as what it means to be homosexual, bisexual or even questioning. Bisexuality is the B in the LGBTQIA (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender/Transsexual, Queer/Questioning, Intersex, and Asexual) acronym and Questioning is the Q. The Q is also known as “Queer”, which is a term used to describe anyone who identifies with a sexuality other than straight/heterosexual.
Sometimes Bisexuality and Questioning get confused, so here’s a breakdown of the differences Choma.
In a nutshell, bisexuality means being attracted to both men and women. You could be a bisexual man or a bisexual woman. What some people might get wrong about bisexuality is believing that you’re just going through a phase and trying to see which gender you like more. But bisexuality is something that you’re born with just as much as homosexuality is. You can be equally attracted to both men and women, although some bisexuals do slightly prefer one gender over the other.
It also doesn’t mean that you’re more likely to cheat in your relationship or that you’re more promiscuous. Bisexuality (and any other type of sexuality) is not a measure of your character; it has nothing to do with your personality - it’s a part of your biology and sexual orientation.
Another term that can get bisexuality confused with questioning is the term “Bi-curious”. Bi-curious can mean that you want to explore the possibility of having a sexual relationship with the same sex but don’t necessarily label yourself bisexual. You could also be someone who has been dating the same sex for a while but interested in exploring a relationship with the opposite sex without labelling yourself bisexual.
If you’re wondering about being bisexual because you feel that you’re attracted to both sexes, read this article Choma.
Questioning is a little different because unlike bisexuality, you’re not sure what your sexual orientation is. If you’re questioning then it means that you’re in the phase of figuring it out. You might have realised that you’re definitely not straight and now you’re just trying to understand what you are - gay, bisexual, pansexual, or asexual?
This could also be a time where you’re questioning your gender Choma. Perhaps you were born a girl but you’re not feeling quite comfortable in your body. You might be wondering if your gender is different to what you were born as.
All these feelings are completely normal but they shouldn’t be ignored. If you realise you’re different but then try too hard not to be, you could feel stuck and unhappy because you’re not truly being who you are.
If you find yourself in the ‘Questioning’ phase of your life, here are a few tips:
- Be open with yourself - don’t be afraid to try new experiences if you really want to, but always remember to do so in the safest way possible. Be honest with yourself about how you feel toward the people around you. Your ability to let yourself openly and honestly experience what you’re feeling, will help give you an idea of who you are.
- Don’t feel like you have to give yourself a label - be patient through your experience. If you’re still questioning who you are, then that’s okay. Don’t force yourself or let others force you into a particular box.
- Learn as much as you can - educate yourself Choma. Learning more will help you better understand the different types of sexualities. It will also help you understand that you are not alone.
- Speak to others - if there aren’t any LGBTQIA support groups in your community, at your school or on your campus, try speaking to others online. You can start by checking OUT or Health4Women for very helpful advice. The support you need is out there Choma.
- Don’t judge yourself - don’t regret anything that you’ve done. Just make sure that you are safe, practise safe sex, respect yourself and respect others. It is vital to understand that you will eventually understand your sexual orientation. The more you’re open to learning about yourself, the sooner you’ll feel comfortable about being exactly who you are.
Are you still questioning your sexuality and need someone to talk to? Remember that you can always send me a private message via Ask Choma. I am also here for you on Facebook and via WhatsApp on 071 172 3657
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