First Date Tips (If you’re looking for a serious relationship)
When you're looking for a serious relationship, the last thing you want is to be in a relationship where you find out a few months down the line that your partner doesn’t want the same thing you want. I’m sure you would agree that it would be nice to know, from the get-go, what you're getting yourself into and whether you can eventually make a long-term commitment to someone. Of course, you won’t get all the answers you want on the first date - but here are a few first date tips for finding out if you and your date could be a good (long-term) match.
Talk about what you’re looking for
Let your date know upfront that you’re looking for a long-term relationship. If you know what you want, it’s better to let the other person know so that you don’t end up wasting their time or yours.
Ask thoughtful questions
Don’t just settle for small chit-chat Choma, ask your date questions that give you an opportunity to really get to know them. Ask them questions like:
- Are you single?
- What are you looking for in a relationship?
- What don’t you want from a relationship?
- What do you do for fun?
- Where do you see yourself in the future/what are your hopes for the future?
- What makes you happy?
- What’s your proudest moment?
By asking thoughtful questions, you get to see if your values and beliefs match up and if they sound like the kind of person you would like to spend time with.
Don’t ignore red flags
It’s good to go on a date with an open mind and not let little things get to you. But it’s also important not to ignore things about a person that could definitely be an issue later on. If the person you’re on a date with makes you uncomfortable or is inappropriate or disrespectful towards you or any of the people around you - that could be a red flag. Don’t settle for less Choma. If you suspect you won’t be happy with the person, don't be afraid to simply move on.
The best way to know if someone is the right fit for you, is to be yourself and see if your personalities match. Don’t pretend that you like something or want to try something just because your date says that’s what they want. If you pretend to be someone else just to please your date, it will only cause problems down the line. The person you want to be in a serious relationship with is someone who needs to appreciate you for you.
Choma, if you want to be in a serious relationship rather not date people who want the opposite. Keep your relationship priorities in mind when you go on dates and don’t settle for less just because that’s what the person is offering. You deserve to be in the kind of relationship that makes you feel happy, fulfilled and to be treated well.
Remember, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).
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