Why you should date yourself before dating someone else
No matter what age you are, I’m sure at some point you’ve been single and really missed being in a relationship. Yes, having a bae can come with some great memories and feelings, but what’s more important than loving someone else, is learning to love yourself first. The truth is, being in a relationship is more hard work than it seems- getting to a stage where you share yourself, your dreams and your fears with someone else is a real commitment that isn’t all about cuddles and cute selfies. Because this is a commitment you really need to prepare for, there’s no better way to be relationship-ready than by dating yourself first. Here’s what I mean:
Get to know yourself
The best way to use the time while you’re single is to get to know yourself better. A lot of the time, we get into relationships with people who can’t give us what we want from a relationship, and even worse than that, sometimes we don’t even know what we want because we don’t really know who we are. Choma, knowing who you are doesn’t mean you have your life perfectly planned out, it simply means you know your values, what you’re interested in, what excites you and what upsets you. Remember, it’s totally okay for these things to change as you get older- that’s called growth!
Go on a solo date
Treat yourself by saving up a little to take yourself on a solo date doing something you really enjoy. At first, it may feel a little strange being out on your own, but this way there’s no pressure to impress anyone else, and you can grow more comfortable with just being yourself. If you like getting flowers on a date, why not get a some for yourself? This way, you get to choose flowers that you actually like.
Take care of yourself
Spending some time practising good self-care can go a long way in helping you figure out the way you want to be treated. Treat yourself to some quiet meditation to clear your mind, spend time reading a good book, and engage in other healthy activities that help you realise your self-worth.
The most important thing to remember is that you should always feel okay with being single. Being in a relationship can be great sometimes, but it doesn’t change your worth or value. You are always enough and perfect as you are Choma.
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Remember, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).
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