Sex myths that are harmful for guys

In the past I’ve debunked some popular sex myths that are harmful for girls. The thing is Choma, myths about sex can be harmful for guys as well. Here are a few that are still widely believed, even though they aren’t true.

Guys want sex all the time.

The myth that guys must be sexual is harmful for both guys and girls. It puts overwhelming pressure on guys to act out in sexual ways and puts pressure on girls to agree to things they may not be comfortable with to “satisfy” the guy.

A boy has just as much right to not want to have sex as a girl - and it’s up to his partner to respect that decision.

Guys who can’t “get it up” are not manly"

Erectile dysfunction (ED), or not being able to “get it up”, is the inability to develop or maintain an erection of the penis. Erectile dysfunction can impact the self-image of guys and even their partners (if the partner feels the ED happens because they are undesirable).

Health issues such as diabetes, injuries, depression and anxiety can cause or worsen erectile dysfunction. A common misconception is that ED only happens to older men, but this is false. It affects many young guys too, who can feel very ashamed and insecure about it.

If a guy has this condition, it isn’t something they deserve to be mocked about.

Sex is less enjoyable with a condom.

According to many surveys, condoms generally don’t affect whether people have an orgasm or enjoy the experience overall. Having unprotected sex puts both partners in danger of catching a Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI) as well as unwanted pregnancy. That’s why it’s important to use a condom every time.

Guys can’t be sexually abused.

While it is true that most sexual abuse targets women and girls, this does not mean that boys and men cannot be victims too.

Their abuser can be any gender or age, and male survivors go through many of the same struggles female survivors do (such as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and depression). Furthermore, they may be less inclined to report the abuse out of fear of being mocked.

That is why it’s important for us to end the stigma around male victims and create spaces where they can get the help they need safely and without judgement.

Size matters

Many studies show that size doesn’t matter to most girls. The myth that large penis size is desirable or “better” causes many guys to develop insecurities about their size. Guys can’t help the size they are born with, and they shouldn’t need to feel embarrassed about something they can’t change.

There’s a lot of misinformation out there about sex that is harmful for both girls and guys. It’s up to us to respect one another and point out if we hear a myth that is just plain wrong. Do you know any other myths I didn’t mention? Let me know in the comments below.

Remember, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).