Why does ghosting hurt so much?
Ghosting is when someone you care about suddenly cuts off all communication with you, and they don’t tell you why. It’s not only limited to relationships because friends and family can do it too. Here’s why being ghosted can be so painful.
One of the biggest reasons ghosting hurts so much is because of the feeling of rejection. What’s worse is that you don’t know what you did wrong. So ghosting leaves you feeling hurt and gives you the sense that that there’s something wrong with you – even though someone could ghost you for their own personal reasons. But it’s not knowing the reason that leads to feelings of rejection. This feeling of rejection can also negatively affect your self-esteem, especially if your self-esteem is already low.
The lack of closure
When someone ghosts you, it doesn’t immediately give you an opportunity to move on because you’re not sure where you stand with the person. You might feel like you got along well and had good chemistry so the person’s sudden lack of communication leaves you feeling confused and also just leaves you hanging. This is why so many people end up becoming obsessed with checking the person’s social media for some sort of clue as to why they could have just suddenly stopped talking to them. Being ghosted can really make you feel anxious and insecure about yourself and the person you had a relationship with.
What should you do if you’re ghosted?
Firstly, don’t jump to the conclusion that there is something wrong with you. It’s entirely possible that the person ghosted you because they were going through something. On the other hand, it could also be that they didn’t like something about you but remember, just because one person doesn’t like something about you, doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you. Everyone has their preferences and you can’t please everyone.
If you really believe it was something you did, then just take some time to reflect on your actions. Were you offensive, forceful or controlling in the way you communicated with them (for example, always wanting to know where they were or what they were doing?). It’s possible that these actions scared them off and they decided to ghost you out of fear. If this was the case, you could apologise for your behaviour and aim to communicate, and treat them, better. If they don’t want to communicate with you any further, respect their wishes and move on.
If there’s nothing you could possibly have done wrong, don’t waste any more time beating yourself up about it. Rather move on and focus on yourself. Not everyone is worth your time and you shouldn’t have to beg anyone to communicate with you.
Relationships can be complicated because you never know what to expect from someone and if they decide that they don’t want you in their life anymore, you have no choice but to accept it. Take some time to heal, because it will hurt, but then get back to treating yourself well and .
If you’re thinking of ghosting someone, don’t do it. Rather be considerate about their feelings and let them know why you don’t want to be acquainted with them anymore.
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