Month: March 2023

How to create a visionboard for the new year

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Vision boards are a fun, creative way to set and prioritise your new year goals. Your vision board is meant to motivate and remind you to keep your eye on the prize. Here’s how to create your own!

What’s a vision board?

A vision board is usually a collage of images that represent goals and dreams. It can include cut-out pictures from magazines and words that help inspire you to manifest your dreams and get to where you want to go.

Defining your goals

Do a brief 10-15-minute reflection on the areas of your life that are important to you right now (eg. family, relationships, hobbies, well-being, finances). Think about what excites you and what you’d like to achieve this year. This can include doing well at school, teaching, traveling, finding a job, or starting a business. If you aren’t feeling crafty, the same exercise in a journal is just as effective.

Collect materials

Depending on what’s available to you, you can use any of the following materials to make your vision board beautiful:

Magazines, postcards, stickers, shop catalogues, wrapping paper, fabric, ribbons, leaves, flowers

Posterboard, in any size you prefer

Scissors

Glue sticks

Markers

Fabric or ribbons

Stickers, gems, sequins, metallic pens or crayons.

Find pictures that represent your goals

Start cutting out images that speak to you and gather visuals of things that align with the goals that you’ve identified. Be creative. You can use not only pictures, but anything that speaks to you. The point is to have fun while dreaming about the life you want, so don’t rush it.

Add affirmations

Your vision of the year ahead shouldn’t be focused just on images alone. Add words that describe how you’d like to feel every day, such as: joyful, abundant, powerful, fearless, loved, strong, healthy, loving, or financially free. You can either search for these words in your magazines or write them yourself.

Put your vision board up

To get the full benefit from your vision board, it’s important to place it somewhere you can see it every day. You can take a few minutes to look over your vision board at least once or twice a day. Look at it in the morning and every night before you go to sleep. That way, you’ll wake up with motivation to succeed and focus on the opportunities that’ll bring you closer to your goals.

As you continue to grow, evolve, and expand, your dreams will too. If you didn’t meet a particular goal in a month or a year that you hoped to achieve, that’s okay. Enjoy the journey!

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send a Facebook message or a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

Life after matric QA

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Lately, I’ve been receiving a lot of questions about life after matric. Here’re my advice on navigating this exciting and sometimes stressful time, Choma.  

Q1: I passed very well, but I didn’t apply.

The first thing is to ask yourself if you really want to study further. If you decide to study further, you may still have time. Some tertiary institutions do allow late applications in January or after matric results come out, and you can still apply.

Q2: I got accepted into tertiary, what can I expect?

Well done Choma! Depending on the institution you applied to, you may have the option to either study online or at the physical building. Be realistic with yourself about the advantages and disadvantages of both styles of learning and what would make more sense money-wise too. Here are my tips on handling tertiary school.

Q3: I failed my matric- what are my options?

Pick yourself up and try again. You can choose to go back to grade 12 full time, write a supplementary for the subjects you’ve failed, or upgrade your marks at a college. You still have time Choma, don’t ever feel like your time is up.

Q4: I don’t know if I should go to tertiary school or find a job.

This will depend on different factors such as your financial circumstances at home, if you’re mentally prepared to continue studying, or ready to enter the workplace. Having a mentor guiding you in life will help you in the long run. A mentor should be somebody who has knowledge and experience in the field you’re interested in. A mentor will help you grow as a person in understanding and decision-making. Remember to choose your mentor carefully.

Q5: I want to study further, but I’m still confused on what to study.

If you’re unsure about what career you should pursue, you can take a career quiz to determine if your personality is a match for your dream job. Take the quiz here. You can also check subjects you excelled at in school, and leverage off that by choosing a career in that space.

Q6: What does a gap year look like?

If your matric year was stressful and you feel like you need a break before committing to a job or tertiary studies, then a gap year could be best for you. It’s the perfect opportunity to explore what you really want to do with your future. During your gap year, you could travel, , work part-time, work abroad, volunteer at an NGO or organisation in your community, and so much more. The aim of a gap year is to help you get a clearer idea of your study and work paths, by discovering your passion and talents.

Q7: I’m facing financial problems, and I feel demotivated about everything.

Life after matric can be difficult if your family can’t afford to pay for your tertiary studies, and you don’t have other means of funding. In this case, you can consider finding a job to help you save up for tertiary school. Working after high school also allows you to refine your soft skills and learn the hard skills needed for your future career. You could also apply for a bursary.

Q8: Do you recommend upgrading or repeat matric?

Upgrading your marks or repeating matric can give you an opportunity to achieve a better pass level. This’ll give you a better chance of applying into a tertiary institution and receiving funding.

Life after matric can feel confusing and overwhelming; it’s normal to feel like that, because you’re jumping into a different phase of life. Always remember to find your breath and ask for guidance when you feel confused. Adulthood is complex- we don’t always get it right, but we learn along the way. If you have any other questions, leave them for me in the comments below.

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

Commemorating World AIDS Day during apandemic

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World AIDS Day takes place on the 1st of December every year. It’s an opportunity for people around the world to unite in the fight against HIV/AIDS, to show support and to commemorate those who’ve died from AIDS-related illnesses. HIV and AIDS affects all of us directly or indirectly- at school, work, in our families, at church and in most areas of our lives. We all have a responsibility to contribute to an HIV-free generation. Here’s how to show your support this year.

Attend a World AIDS Day event

Attending an event online or in your community is a wonderful way to commemorate World AIDS Day. The events vary from workshops, seminars, or expos. You can use this opportunity to learn more about HIV/AIDS and the different interventions put in place to reach an HIV-free generation. When you attend these events, ensure that COVID-19 safety protocols are followed. You should wear a mask at all times, sanitise your hands regularly, and observe social distancing, even if you’re fully vaccinated. You can also follow my live content around World AIDS Day on my Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.

Volunteer at an organisation

It’s important to commit to something you feel strongly about, not just because you feel like you should do it. Perhaps, you’re passionate about talking to youth in your community about HIV. Find what is meaningful to you, and then volunteer at a local community-based organisation (CBO) that focuses on HIV/AIDS.

Stay informed

It’s important to stay informed with facts. Researchers are constantly finding new and possible solutions in fighting the virus. Only share accurate information with your friends and family to help stop HIV stigma and myths.

Encouraging individual action

Check your HIV status regularly. You can make your way to a local clinic or a tent in your area and get tested. If you’re living with HIV, do everything you can to stay on your treatment. If you’re struggling with HIV treatment adherence, you can chat to me or your healthcare provider.

If you’re sexually active, protect yourself and your sexual partners by always using a condom every time you have sex.

If you’re in a mixed status or a high-risk relationship, you should consider PrEP. All these services are available at local World AIDS Day events and your local clinic.

Follow hashtags on social media

Share accurate information about HIV and AIDS on your social media to help spread the word. You can follow the Department of Health on Facebook for regular updates. Some of the trending hashtags from last year include: #WorldAIDSDay #ChekaImpilo #KnowYour Status #EndAIDS #WAD #GetTested. Why not use some of these hashtags on your own social media to create awareness?

This World AIDS Day, let’s celebrate the progress we’ve made, honour those we’ve lost, educate others, get involved, and unite in our global fight to end this virus.

Remember, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send a Facebook message or a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

How to coparent with an ex

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Regardless of age, co-parenting refers to a mutual agreement between both parents of a child wanting to play an active role in the child’s life. While shared decisions and interacting with your ex may seem like an impossible task, putting aside the relationship issues, especially after an unhealthy break-up, is the first step to a healthy co-parenting plan. Here’s more.

Developing a parenting plan

Parenting plans help minimise conflict by clearly setting out guidelines and expectations from both parents. The plan must include the needs of the children. Remember that a parenting plan works 50/50, so you need to ensure that you’re doing your part. A Children’s Court in your area can help you develop a parenting plan that works for both parents.

Set feelings aside

Successful co-parenting means that your own emotions, anger or hurt must be placed aside. This may be very difficult, especially if you left an abusive relationship.

It’s important to work on your healing first. Remember that healing means letting go of the past and allowing your ex to have a healthy relationship with the child, without the child being caught in the middle of conflict.

Communication

Peaceful and consistent communication with your ex is essential. Make the child the focus of every discussion you have with your ex.

It isn’t always necessary to meet your ex in person, speaking over the phone or exchanging texts or emails also works. The goal is to establish conflict-free communication.

The key to successful co-parenting is to separate the personal relationship with your ex from the co-parenting relationship. It may be helpful to start thinking of your relationship with your ex as a completely new one, one that’s completely about the well-being of your child, and not about either of you.

Co-parenting isn’t an easy task, but with mutual agreement and effort it can be possible. If you need support, you can reach out to organisations such as Family Life South Africa (FAMSA).

Remember, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send a Facebook message or a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

How to reduce your Breast Cancerrisk

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While treatment for breast cancer keeps on improving, prevention is always better than cure. Here are some simple and effective steps you can take to help detect and lower your risk of developing breast cancer.

Find out your family history

It’s advisable to chat to your family to determine if there’s a history of cancer. You may be at high risk of breast cancer if you have a mother or sister who developed breast or ovarian cancer (especially at an early age) or if you have multiple family members (including men) who’ve developed breast, ovarian, or prostate cancer. Your healthcare provider can help you understand this more.

Follow a healthy lifestyle

Being overweight can increase the risk of many different cancers, including breast cancer. Being physically active for at least 30 minutes a day and adopting a healthy diet can help lower your risk. It’s as simple as incorporating more fruits and vegetables in your diet.

Limit alcohol

Did you know high levels of alcohol intake can increase your risk of developing breast cancer? If you find yourself struggling with your alcohol consumption, it’s advisable to reach out to Alcoholics Anonymous or SANCA.

Don’t smoke

Smoking increases the risk of heart disease, stroke, and cancer, including breast cancer. If you’re struggling to cut back on smoking, reach out for help. Organisations such as Narcotics Anonymous can help assist and support you.

Don’t forget screening

Although screening can’t prevent cancer, it can help find the cancer early, when it’s most treatable. You should go for regular clinical breast exams. You should also self-examine your breasts regularly and tell your healthcare provider right away if you notice any changes in how your breasts look or feel.

Following these steps will help lower your risk of breast cancer. If you feel you’re at high risk, you should talk to your healthcare provider. You can also contact the Cancer Association of South Africa (CANSA) on 0800 22 66 22 for more information about breast cancer.

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

Signs youre starting your period soon

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There isn’t a set age to start menstruating because our bodies all have their own schedules. Some girls can get their periods early, from the age of 10 years and others a bit later, which is completely normal. The best way to tell is to assess whether you’ve have begun puberty.  There are also some clues to look out for. Here’s more.

Signs of puberty include:

The development of pubic hair, such as thicker hair on the legs and visible hair under the arms, as well as in the pubic area.

Changes in body shape, such as your hips and thighs thickening.

Growing more rapidly.

The development of breasts.

The development of acne on the face or body.

Signs that you’re starting menstruation

Several days before your first period, you may notice spotting in your underwear or abdominal cramps. It’s also normal not to experience any signs.

What will it be like?

Every girl’s period is different. Periods can vary in duration, frequency, and heaviness. Some may have very light, short periods, while others can have heavier or longer periods.

Some may experience a very light first period, with a small amount of blood.

For others, it can begin suddenly and heavily, with bright red blood appearing straight away. In either case, this is normal.

Period blood can range in colour from brown to dark red. It’s also normal to see small blood clots.

What to do when it starts

If your period starts unexpectedly at school/public or at home, don’t panic. You can always ask your teacher, peer, parent, sister or a guardian to give you a pad or tampon to use in the meantime.

It’s always helpful to have a period kit on hand before your first period arrives. This can help you feel more prepared and confident. Here’s what you should have in your period kit:

An extra pair of underwear.

A pack of tampons and pads, or a menstrual cup depending on your flow.

Unscented baby wipes to clean any leakages.

Here’s how to use a tampon, pad or menstrual cup.

It’s okay to feel scared the first time you start your period, especially if you’re not prepared for it. Being on your period should never feel embarrassing Choma- it’s a natural, healthy part of a woman’s life.

Remember, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send a Facebook message or a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

How often should you see a gynaecologist

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Seeing a gynaecologist is an important part of self-care for women, and one of the best ways to ensure that you stay healthy and aware of any changes in your reproductive health. Here’s more.

How often to see your gynae

How often you should visit your gynae depends on two things: your age and your health. The ideal time to schedule your first appointment is when you become sexually active or after the age of 21 (regardless of being sexually active or not). Women between the ages of 21 and 29 should be visiting their gynaecologist every year for a regular exam. If you’re pregnant or treating an infection, you should follow the guidance of your gynae strictly.

Other reasons to see a gynae

If you notice changes to your menstrual cycle (which can include heavy periods, skipped periods, or spotting between periods) or overall vaginal health (pain, discomfort or abnormal discharge), it’s advisable to make an appointment with your gynae.

What to expect

A visit to the gynae typically involves a pap smear, breast exam, pelvic exam or all three. It’s perfectly normal to feel a bit anxious and have many questions on your first visit.

It’s always a good idea to stay on top of your health, which includes your reproductive health. If you’re sexually active, or experiencing any of the signs above and haven’t paid a visit to a gynaecologist, now is a good time to start.

Remember, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send a Facebook message or a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

Sex during pregnancy Whats ok whatsnot

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A developing foetus is not only protected by the amniotic fluid, but also by the strong muscles of the uterus itself. This means that sex is perfectly safe during pregnancy unless your healthcare provider has advised otherwise. Although sex during pregnancy can feel quite different from how it felt before, remember that this is perfectly normal. Here’s more.

Using protection

Being pregnant doesn’t mean it’s safe to have unprotected sex. It’s still important to use condoms to help prevent you from being infected with sexually transmitted infections (STIs), which you can get if your partner is infected. Having an infection during pregnancy can cause serious health problems for you and your baby.

Sexual positions

As long as you’re comfortable, most sexual positions are ok during pregnancy. This may mean that you’ll have to experiment with some new positions as you accommodate your growing baby bump. By the second trimester, make sure you’re not engaging in positions that put weight on your stomach. While sex is safe for most couples in pregnancy, it may not be all that easy. It’s always advisable to check with your healthcare provider.

When to avoid sex

Your healthcare provider might recommend avoiding sex if:

You have unexplained vaginal bleeding.

You’re leaking amniotic fluid.

Your cervix begins to open prematurely (cervical incompetence).

Your placenta partly or completely covers your cervical opening (placenta previa).

You have a history of preterm labour or premature birth.

Be sure to fully understand what your healthcare provider means when you’re advised to avoid sex. Asking questions is completely normal.

When to worry

See your healthcare provider if you have unusual symptoms during or after sex, such as:

Pain

Bleeding

Fluid or discharge

Significant discomfort

Contractions

No matter which trimester you’re in, rest assured that sex is a healthy part of pregnancy. If your healthcare provider gives the green light, you’re free to do what feels comfortable for you.

Remember, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send a Facebook message or a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

Vaccine hesitancy myths vs facts

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There’s been a lot of misinformation surrounding the COVID-19 vaccine and its development. The more people take the vaccine, the easier it will be to break the chain of transmission and protect unvaccinated people. This is referred to as ‘herd immunity’. When deciding whether to get the vaccine, it’s important to separate myths from facts.

Myth: You can get COVID-19 from the vaccine

Fact:

You can’t get COVID-19 from the vaccine because it doesn’t contain the live COVID virus. However, some people do experience flu-like side effects for a few days after getting vaccinated. If you experience excessive side effects after your vaccine, I advise you to visit your nearest clinic.

Myth: Once I receive the vaccine, I’ll test positive for COVID-19

Fact:

As I mentioned, there’s no live virus in the vaccine, and the vaccine won’t affect a test result. However, it is possible to get infected with the virus before the vaccine has had time to fully protect your body. 

Myth: Once I receive the COVID-19 vaccine, I no longer need to wear a mask

Fact:

Even when vaccinated, there’s still a chance of you contracting the virus and passing it onto those closest to you. This is why it’s important to continue wearing a mask, washing your hands and practising social distancing in public, even after you’ve been fully vaccinated. The vaccine simply reduces your risk of experiencing severe symptoms. 

Myth: The COVID-19 vaccine has severe side effects such as allergic reactions

Fact:

Some people can experience pain at the site of infection, chills, or a headache for a day or two after vaccinating. Although some people can have severe allergic reactions to ingredients used in a vaccine, this is rare. The healthcare provider/nurse should go through your medical history before giving you the vaccine. Should you experience severe side effects, please visit your nearest clinic.

Myth: The COVID-19 vaccine causes infertility in women

Fact:

This is misinformation that’s making its rounds on social media. This is false, the COVID-19 vaccine doesn’t cause infertility.

Myth: The COVID-19 vaccine is unsafe because it was developed so quickly

Fact:

The official COVID-19 vaccines have been proven safe?and effective. Although they were developed in record time, they’ve gone through the same rigorous Food and Drug Administration process as other vaccines, meeting all safety standards.

Myth: Vaccines contain a form of microchip that will be used to track me

Fact:

There’s no vaccine “microchip” in the COVID-19 vaccine and there’s no evidence to support this. Receiving a vaccine won’t allow people to be tracked. It will also not be used to de-populate.

Myth: I’ve already been diagnosed with COVID-19, so I don’t need to receive the vaccine

Fact:

Even if you’ve had COVID-19, you can still benefit from the vaccine because you can get infected with COVID-19 more than once.

It’s important to be mindful and protect ourselves against COVID-19 vaccine misinformation. Exposing these myths is essential when it comes to the safety and efficacy of delivering vaccines to fight the virus. Let’s work together in achieving ‘herd immunity’ by playing our part. Once COVID-19 vaccine registration for your age category is called, you can register for the vaccine here.

To learn more, visit the South African Corona Virus website or click here.

Remember, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send a Facebook message or a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

Its not too late to start using condoms

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While being in a committed relationship with someone can be really fulfilling, it’s important to still use condoms every time you have sex, even if you know each others HIV status. Have you and your partner stopped using protection? Here’s how to reintroduce condoms in your relationship.

Have an honest and open conversation with bae about your sex habits

While sex isn’t the only important thing in your relationship, it can have a huge impact on how happy you are with your partner. That’s why it’s so important that you and bae have a chat about your sex life.

Keep in mind that safe sex habits are negotiated between you and your partner. So, when you chat with bae about safe sex, be open to talk about your current sex habits. Discuss consent and sexual reproductive rights. Be free to talk about each other’s plans for the future and how condom-use during sex can help each of you to meet those plans. You can also encourage each other to get tested for STIs and HIV.

Educate yourself about condoms

Condoms don’t get the appreciation they deserve, in my opinion. Did you know that condoms are the only contraceptive method that protects you from sexually transmitted diseases (STIs) and Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV), while preventing your chances of falling pregnant?

Condoms are also non-hormonal contraceptives, which means that you don’t have to worry about weight gain, mood swings, low energy levels or any other side effects for that matter. They’re also free, so you don’t have to spend any money to get them. If you or bae is allergic to latex condoms – that’s no reason to stop either. You and your partner can go to the nearest health clinic and ask for non-latex condoms.

You can choose to use either male or female condoms. You and your partner can have a conversation about the kind of condom that best suits your lifestyle. Whichever condom you choose, remember that the responsibility to carry condoms doesn’t lie on you only. Both you and your partner are equally responsible for carrying condoms.

Where can you get condoms

You can get male and female condoms from your nearest health facility (clinic, hospital or your doctor). These condoms are free and come in a variety of flavours. You and bae could also buy your condoms at any supermarket, convenience store or pharmacy. Just remember to check for the expiration date and make sure that the condom isn’t damaged.

Keep in mind that a healthy relationship should allow both of you to make responsible decisions about your sex life. Using condoms is really the best way to enjoy a healthy lifestyle without having to worry about the risk of getting a sexually transmitted infection or falling pregnant.

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).