Month: April 2023

More about how to disclose your pregnancy to your parents

Posted on by Shazia Kassim

Once you find out you are pregnant, you probably need to take a deep breath and process how much your life is about to change. Having a baby can be a huge deal and disclosing your pregnancy to your parents can be one of the scariest things you can ever do.

Here are some ways to help you navigate the conversation:

Pick the right time.

Choose a time and place which is more comfortable. This will give them time to react and talk about it. The sooner you tell them, the better, and the longer you wait to tell them, the harder it will be for you and for them.

Talk to a trusted friend/family member first.

If you are too scared of your parents, it is always a good idea to talk to someone you trust first, this way you can practice telling them and they can help you go to your parents.

Get your partner involved.

If you have this option, it is best if you both go to your parents and tell them together.
This way, they can feel better about it by seeing the two of you unified. Having someone with you can also help you to feel less nervous or anxious.

Be straightforward.

We can’t lie and say that it won’t be one of the most difficult things you’ve ever told them, but beating around the bush can make it even worse. The more you talk in circles, the more anxious your parents will become. Keep it simple and straightforward, “Mom, dad, I have something difficult to tell you, I know this isn’t what we’d planned, but I am pregnant”.

Expect Disappointment.

No parent wants to hear that their child is pregnant young and without the means to take care of a baby financially, physically, and emotionally.

Disappointment is a natural response, so don’t get angry or sad because of it. Your parents might take time to get over it but allow them to express how they feel. If they have ever responded in a violent or abusive way to bad news in the past, you probably don’t want to tell them the news alone, have another trusted adult present when you tell them.

Have a plan in place.
Having a plan of action can help a lot when telling your parents that you’re pregnant. This means that you are going to accept your responsibility, take care of the child, and go back to school. Laying out a plan of action will make you seem responsible, and this can put your parents at ease.

Remember Choma that you don’t have to go through pregnancy alone, there is support and people that love and care for you to ensure that you have the best pregnancy.

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, an  Instagram message , a  Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

What is African Vaccination Week and The Opportunities It Provides?

Posted on by Shazia Kassim

Every year, from April 24th to 30th, the world observes African Vaccination Week, also known as Immunization Week, to raise an understanding of the importance of immunization in protecting lives and to nudge parents to vaccinate their kids against fatal diseases.

Every year, in collaboration with the other WHO Regions and World Immunization Week, the African Vaccination Week is implemented by nations under the direction and coordination of the WHO Regional Office for Africa. The aim is to strengthen vaccination programs in the African Region by raising awareness of the significance of every person’s need and right to be protected against vaccine-preventable diseases, especially for every child and woman.

By advocating and cooperation, it seeks to maintain immunization as a top priority on the national and regional agendas. It also encourages the use of other highly effective life-saving interventions.

This worldwide collaboration provides an opportunity to boost momentum and focus on specific actions such as:

  • raising awareness on how immunization saves lives.
  • increasing vaccination coverage to prevent disease outbreaks.
  • reaching underserved and marginalized communities, particularly those living in remote areas, deprived urban settings, fragile states, and strife-torn regions with existing and newly available vaccines.
  • reinforcing the medium- and long-term benefits of immunization, giving children a chance to grow up healthy, go to school and improve their life prospects.

How will you be spreading awareness this vaccination week?

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send a Facebook message or a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

Effects of Alcohol: Know When “Phuza” Becomes a Problem

Posted on by Shazia Kassim

Alcohol consumption is a normal part of many societies and cultures and is meant to be enjoyed as it was intended: responsibly. Oftentimes, however, the irresponsible consumption of alcohol impacts communities and individuals negatively.

This is why it’s important to educate and amplify the importance of responsible drinking behaviours, attitudes, and practices, thus enabling a culture of moderation and responsible alcohol consumption in our societies.

These are some of the signs that “Phuza” has become a problem and calls for concern:

You Drink More Than Planned

You’ve had times where you ended up drinking more than you thought you would or for longer than you were going to. It may not seem like a big deal if it only happens occasionally, but that shows you have trouble controlling yourself while drinking. And it’s an early warning sign.

Your Tolerance Has Gone Up

“The usual” doesn’t have as much of an effect on you anymore. You need to drink much more than before to get the buzz you want. Your brain adapts to alcohol over time, and you can become less sensitive to its effects.

You’re Dropping the Ball on Life

Can you think of more than a few times when you came to work with a hangover, missed deadlines, or got behind on schoolwork because of your drinking? When your alcohol use, including being sick from drinking, often prevents you from keeping up with responsibilities at home, work, or school, it’s a problem.

You Could’ve Been Hurt

While you’ve had a lot to drink, your brain doesn’t grasp the short-term and big-picture results that could come from poor decision-making. This can make you get into risky situations like driving, swimming, fighting, having unsafe sex, or walking in a dangerous area. Even if nothing bad has happened yet, this is a warning sign.

It’s starting to affect your health

Alcohol can damage your liver, heart, brain, pancreas, and immune system. Although you realize it’s harming you, physical or emotional dependence on alcohol can make quitting hard.

It Causes Friction in Relationships

You care about your loved ones, but you can’t imagine your life without alcohol. Your drinking has led to trouble with your family or friends or made problems worse, yet you continue to drink. This doesn’t make you a bad person, but it does make it more urgent that you look for help to change your habits and get your relationships back on track.

Remember that any of these things could signal an alcohol problem. Don’t feel bad but do consider cutting back on drinking or quitting altogether. Talk to your healthcare provider to assist you in taking control of your life again. It is possible Choma, and you can do it.

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message,  an  Instagram message, a  Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

 

 

Choma Café Changed The Life of Palesa Ramakhetheng

Posted on by Shazia Kassim

Palesa Ramakhetheng

Palesa Ramakhetheng is a beneficiary at Khomanani community-based organisation in Vlakfontein in the south of the City of Johannesburg, sub-district G. Khomanani is one of HIVSA’s 39 sub-partners implementing the HIV/AIDS in Vulnerable Populations (PHVP) Program. The centre provides several services such as nutritional support, and homework assistance and was previously implementing the DREAMS Program including the Choma Innovation Café.

The Choma Café

Khomanani received a Choma Innovation Café from HIVSA. The Choma Innovation Cafés aim to support Programmes such as the PHVP Programme that is currently being implemented at Community-Based Organisations, this is done by providing online information on Sexual Reproductive Health (SRH) and other health-related information as well as creating a safe space for interaction on the abovementioned subjects for 10 – 19-year-old Adolescent Girls & Young Women (AGYW) and boys. The Choma Innovation Cafes were funded by the U.S. President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief (PEPFAR) and the Charlize Theron Africa Outreach Project. Palesa Ramakhetheng was one of the young girls who accessed the café. She is from a single-parent household. The household depends on Child support grant and food packs they receive from Khomanani Health Group.

Palesa Ramakhetheng at the Choma Café

Palesa was enrolled in the Choma Café in 2017 at the age of 12 years. She attended structured interventions on SRH offered in the Café as well as Vhutshilo 1 sessions.  Vhutshilo 1 is a structured intervention that aims to educate young people between the ages of 10 and 14 safe from HIV and STIs.  In 2019 Palesa was appointed as a member of the Child Advisory Board (CAB). The purpose of the CAB is to engage and empower youth along with their families and communities to ensure that youth are empowered to reach their full potential by being given a platform in which to express themselves. Palesa took on program leadership responsibilities by actively providing input to the program and informing them how the program is best implemented for them, this involves having a close relationship with onsite facilitators and providing ongoing feedback.  Through the SRH sessions, Palesa learnt about different ways of preventing HIV. She was tested for HIV, and she knows her status. In 2020 she was initiated on PrEP (Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis) and she is still on PrEP to date.  PrEP is medicine youth at risk of contracting HIV take to prevent getting HIV. Palesa continues to take PrEP to ensure she stays HIV-negative.

Palesa also had the opportunity to access the Choma café for school research and homework assistance. Although she has always been a good student, Palesa gives credit to the Choma Café for passing her Grade 12 with a Diploma in 2022. She is awaiting acceptance at one of the Technical Vocational Education and Training (TVET) Colleges she applied to. According to Palesa.

“Choma made me fit in at school. No one could see my struggles and that I could not afford data.”

What You Need To Know About Statutory Rape

Posted on by Shazia Kassim

Statutory rape is a form of child sexual abuse. It is a serious violation with severe consequences in South Africa. To protect children from being victims of statutory rape, there are some laws in place to regulate sexual relations among minors. Let’s look at some facts about statutory rape:

What is statutory rape?

Statutory rape is any sexual contact between an adult and a minor, regardless of consent. A minor is someone who has not reached the legal age of consent, which is 16 for both girls and boys in South Africa. This means it is illegal for an adult to have any sexual relations with anyone below the age of 16. However, there are other regulations as per the Criminal Law (Sexual Offenses and Related Matters) Amendment Act (2007):

  • A child under the age of 12 cannot consent to sex. Even if their partner is considered a minor. Sexual intercourse with a minor of 12 years or younger will be considered rape, under any circumstances.
  • If both partners are below the age of 16 but older than 12, it is not considered statutory rape. So, if partners between the ages of 12 and 15 have sexual contact, it will not be considered rape if both partners agree to have sex and the age difference between them is not more than two years.
  • If anyone above the age of 16 has sexual contact with a minor younger than 16, it is statutory rape, even if the minor agrees to have sex.

What is sexual consent?

Sexual consent is a voluntary agreement between partners to engage in sexual activity. Consent must be freely given and not assumed or implied. It must be given without any manipulation, threats, or coercion. Before you can consent to sex; you must be 16 years and above, and be aware of what sex is, and what the consequences of sex are.

You should never be pressured to give sexual consent, be it by your partner or your friends. Deciding to have sex is a personal decision you should take when you feel ready for the possible risks that come with sex.

Sex is not a measure of love and should not be bargained to get consent. Remember that either you or your partner can still be charged for statutory rape if consent is given outside the legal age of consent.

Another important issue regarding sexual consent is stealthing. Stealthing is when one partner removes the condom during sexual intercourse without the consent of the other partner. Stealthing is rape and can result in jail time.

Who can report statutory rape?

Anyone who is aware that a minor is having sexual relations with an adult is required by law to report the crime. Even if the adult in the relationship is not aware of the minor’s age. It is important to be honest with your partner about your age to avoid this as it may result in jail time for the adult in the relationship.

There is no time limit for reporting acts of sexual assault and rape. As long as there is evidence that the minor did not consent legally, a charge will be laid, and the case may be prosecuted depending on the evidence presented to the court.

If you or someone you know needs to report a case of statutory rape, you can contact the SAPS on 10111 or go to your nearest police station.

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).