Going through an abusive experience caused by someone you’re in a relationship with is a difficult experience and can be hard to talk to anyone about. You might feel like no one would understand, nor believe you or that they would judge and shame you if they knew. Abuse is not something that you only go through if you have a certain background, are of a certain race, have a certain type of education or live in a certain area. Women all over experience abuse at the hands of their partners daily and the more we expose these situations, the more we make it okay for other women to come forward, talk about their abuse and leave their abusers.

After 22 year-old Karabo Mokoena’s death earlier this month shocked South Africa and resulted in the #menaretrash trend that highlighted gender-based violence, many more women came forward with stories about the horrible abuse they experienced at the hands of their partners.

There are celebrities who have also come forward and spoken about the abuse they experienced with their partners. These are a few of them Choma:

Amanda Du-Pont

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Amanda du-Pont came forward about her abuse a few years ago. She opened up about being emotionally, physically and sexually abused by an ex. She chose to come forward about her past because she wanted to empower women who had been through, or are going through, the same thing.

Quotes:

“When people are raped, they feel they did something wrong, or it was their responsibility. It’s not. But it’s important to deal with it and move on – like I’ve moved on. There’s no point holding on to something for years, till it becomes your reason for not being successful.”

“Never be ashamed of what you’ve been through – it makes you who you are today.”

Kelly Khumalo

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Kelly Khumalo became an activist against women and child abuse when she opened up about her own abuse. She came forward about being physically abused by her ex-boyfriend, rapper and singer Jub Jub. She managed to survive her situation and is encouraging other women to stand up against abuse.

Quote:

“You are the person to say I will not do this, I will not be treated like this. So the only person that has the power to change your environment and how people perceive you, how society sees you, how men see you, is yourself.”

Khanyi Mbau

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In her book, Khanyi Mbau talks about how she was physically abused by her ex-husband Mandla Mthembu. She spoke about being hit while pregnant and also being beaten until she bled. She ended the relationship when she just couldn’t take the abuse anymore.

Quotes:

“Abuse makes you angry and needy at the same time. It leaves you feeling schizophrenic.”

“I wrote my book as a trail of my history and origin, defining my destination”

Bonang Matheba

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Bonang Matheba laid charges of abuse against DJ Euphonik in 2012. Although she hasn’t really spoken up about the abuse officially (other than what was written in the police report), the interaction they’ve had on social media and some of the things she’s said in passing has shown that Bonang still feels strongly about the abuse.

Quote:

“I have gone through the worst pain: an ex-boyfriend having a child with someone else during our relationship. Being beaten. Being cheated on. Being embarrassed on social media numerous times. Everything you can imagine and then some more.”

Letoya Makhene

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Letoya Makhene opened up about how she was physically abused by her ex-husband for years. Even though the abuse went on for years and made her lose her confidence, she felt too afraid to leave him. After 9 years of marriage, she eventually did leave and today she’s found new love and seems happier.

Quotes:

“It’s never easy to talk about a painful part of my life but somewhere, somehow I needed to grow and draw strength from the situation. I guess it was part of my healing process”

“I know we live in a world where many woman are in abusive relationships and I felt like I needed to share my story with my people, to inspire them to stand up and take their power back”

Choma, abuse is something that anyone can go through. Strong women, educated women, women with careers, famous women – any woman can be a victim of abuse. These five celebrities are all extremely strong women and continue to be strong survivors.

If you find yourself in an abusive situation, don’t blame yourself. Don’t think that you are going through it because you are weak. Being abused doesn’t make you weak, it makes the abuser weak. If you’re wondering if you’re in an abusive relationship, click here to read the signs. You can also read this article here for advice on how to leave your abusive partner.

If you need advice or help, remember that you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657)