All relationships require equal effort and it’s important not to ignore the moment where you start to feel like you’re not in a healthy, equal relationship. Getting to know someone is an ongoing process that doesn’t stop as soon as you get in a relationship, and it can get tricky if you miss the red flags. Here are 5 red flags that you should look out for in a relationship. 

They are controlling 

A partner who feels entitled to you might end up trying to control you, and that is not a good sign of a healthy relationship. Someone who cares about you should never try to control you.

They make everything about them 

A relationship should be about two people who have a common goal; it should never be one-sided. If your partner has a tendency of making everything about them and never considers you and your feelings or interests, then it is a red flag. Healthy communication in a relationship is important.

They constantly put you down 

Relationships should be about encouraging and building each other. If your partner is always dismissing and criticising you, then that is a major red flag, especially because it could be a sign of emotional abuse.

They never acknowledge their faults 

Each and every relationship has its own challenges and you and your partner should be able to acknowledge your mistakes and apologise where necessary. If your partner refuses to admit their faults when they are wrong and tries to make you seem at fault instead, it could be a sign of emotional abuse. 

They keep your relationship a secret 

As much as there is a thin line between privacy and secrecy, your relationship should never be kept a secret from people who are close to you. It doesn’t mean that you have to put the details of your relationship out there but your partner should be proud to be with you.

It’s not always easy to spot signs that your relationship is unhealthy and could be toxic for you, especially when you’re in love. But remember that you should never settle for a relationship that makes you uncomfortable or leaves you feeling worthless or down.  You deserve to be respected and treated well – because that is what a healthy relationship is about. 

Remember, if you need someone to talk to, you can speak to me for advice or help here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).