Sexism means discriminating against someone based on their gender. The belief that men are stronger than women is an example of sexism.  Sexism can take place anywhere like at school, when you’re walking in the streets or even in romantic relationships. Here are 5 signs of sexism in your relationship: 

You’re expected to do all the housework

Back in the day, women were the ones who took care of their homes by doing household chores because the men would be working in different cities so they could be able to provide for their families. Times have changed though, and women are also career-driven. Because you are probably both expected to have jobs, it would be sexist if your partner expects you to do all house chores by yourself. They should be willing to help you without making excuses about gender roles

They make all the decisions

In an equal relationship, you and your partner should value each other’s opinion and make decisions together. Your partner should consider your input when it comes to making decisions (like planning dates or making future plans) and they shouldn’t be making final decisions without first checking if you’re okay with them.

They criticise your look

Does your partner want you to look or act more lady-like? Do they want to have a say on what you wear, how you style your hair etc. This could be your partner’s way of making sure you fit the ‘standard’ of being a women and this is a sign of sexism. Women don’t have to wear dresses, make-up etc. to look acceptable. Your partner also shouldn’t control how you look to make themselves feel better. 

They compare you to other women 

You might not even realise your partner is being sexist when they make certain comments that sound like compliments to you. They may say something like “you’re way hotter than her” or “you always look better than Sam’s girlfriend” – yet they won’t make the same comparisons with men. It is a form of sexism if they’re constantly comparing women to other women. It implies there is a “standard” to meet and says who meets that standard. It’s perfectly fine to give someone a compliment without tearing other people (or a whole gender) down. 

They don’t take your dreams seriously

Having dreams and ambitions is great and your partner’s support will always motivate you to do better. However, a partner who constantly makes funny comments to undermine your goals is someone you should reconsider having in your life. They might laugh when you say you want to own a business or have a high position in a certain career. That’s a sign that your partner doesn’t think women can hold high positions or be as successful as men.

It might not always look like it on the surface, but sexism has a real effect on relationships. It can make you feel worthless, make you work unnecessarily harder in your relationship and make you give up on your dreams. There’s absolutely no place for sexism in healthy relationships and you have every right to tell your partner to either treat you equally or leave. 

If you want to chat about this more or need advice, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).