Manipulation happens when someone tries to control and influence you cleverly for their own personal gain. You may know about manipulation, Choma, but did you know that friends are also capable of being manipulative?  Not all friendships are healthy. In fact, you might have befriended a master manipulator or “frenemy” without realising it. Here are 5 signs that your friend is manipulating you. 

They’re controlling

If your friend is too demanding (expects you to drop everything when they say so), tells you who to hang out with, who to date or what to wear to outings, then they’re controlling – which is the first sign of an unhealthy friendship.  

They feel entitled to you 

If your friend acts up whenever you’re with your other friends, and ends up making you feel like a bad or selfish friend for spending time with other people – then you should reconsider the friendship.  

They love creating drama

Manipulative friends feed off drama and confrontations, and they tend to spread rumours and gossip just to start chaos. If you find yourself always caught up in a mess because of your friend, then you might want to find a healthier friendship.

They pressure you

Your friends should always respect your decisions and choices, especially when it comes to you not doing things that you’re not comfortable with. For example, if your friend always pressures you to drink or do drugs when you don’t want to, but you do them anyway out of the fear of losing them as a friend, then you’re being manipulated.

They make you feel like everything is your fault 

If you’re a victim of a manipulative friendship, you will feel like everything that goes wrong in your friend’s life is your fault, and that should never be the case. Your friend’s problems or hardships are not your fault!

Being there for your friends when they need you definitely makes you a good friend, but don’t let that cloud your judgement because it’s easy to be taken advantage of by those who are close to your heart; simply because you’re a nice person. Always strive for healthy friendships because your peace of mind matters.

Remember, if you need help or advice, you can speak to me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).