Having rights doesn’t mean that you’re entitled to someone else’s rights, even if you are in a relationship with them. Someone else’s rights are strictly theirs and you don’t have a right to disregard them. I have listed 5 things that you absolutely have no right to. Here they are: 

Non-consensual sex 

When you have sex with someone, never forget that consent is important. The failure to respect someone’s consent when it comes to sex or sexual engagement means committing an act of rape or sexual assault. Being in a relationship or marriage also doesn’t entitle you to sex. Sex has to be consensual, meaning your partner must want to have it with you, every single time. There are no two-ways about it and no exceptions. If you force yourself on your partner you are committing assault and this is illegal and completely wrong.

Sex without a condom

If someone decides to only have sex with you if you wear a condom, you have to respect that decision. You also cannot remove this decision from them by pretending to use a condom and then removing it. Stealthing refers to the removal of the condom without your partner’s knowledge. It is a form of sexual assault that violates a person’s right to safe sex. Always make sure you and your partner are aware of what is happening and never remove the condom without their consent.

Disclosing someone’s sexuality

It’s not easy for anyone to come out to their loved ones and it can be a scary time for them because they don’t know how they’ll react. 

Even though your intentions might be pure, outing someone means telling people about their sexuality without their permission, which is unacceptable. 

Disclosing someone’s HIV status

When somebody tells you about their HIV status, it means that they trust you and it’s your responsibility to respect that and not gossip or tell everyone about their status. Doing that doesn’t only violate their right to disclose their status as and when they see fit but it also means that you’re breaking their trust in you. 

Invasion of privacy

Going through someone’s personal stuff or forms of communication like their phone, emails or social media accounts is an invasion of their privacy and it is illegal according to the law. If you wouldn’t want anybody to violate your right to privacy, then you shouldn’t do it to others. 

As much as knowing your rights is important, it is also important to understand and respect the rights of others. Not only can violating someone’s rights be extremely disrespectful, in many instances it can be illegal too. As a rule, just remember that it’s always important to treat others the same way you’d want to be treated and respect their rights to also say ‘no’. 

Remember, if you or a friend need help or advice, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).