So let’s say you’ve realised that your self-esteem isn’t as healthy as you want it to be and now you want to make a change – but you’re not quite sure where to start? Here’s a guide to set you on the right path to a healthy self-esteem!

Think about what affects your self-esteem

I spoke about this in this recent article (How can I learn to understand myelf) but the beginning part of the process means you have to be honest with yourself and ask yourself some questions to figure out what is causing your low self-esteem. These might be hard to answer Choma, but figuring this out is so important in this whole process. Try think about whether you’re dealing with stress, physical sickness, mental health issues, trouble in your family or romantic relationships or if you are going through abuse/bullying. All these things can have an impact on your self-esteem.

Avoid negative self-talk

It’s easy to become trapped in a cycle of speaking negatively about yourself, but it’s definitely not impossible to change that. Negative self-talk is when you say or think things like “I can’t do this” or “I’m not worth it”, “I’m not good enough”, and it can be extremely demotivating over time, especially if you find yourself using social media a lot- this is because a lot of people end up comparing their lives to others’ and feeling demotivated that their life doesn’t look the same. Sure, you might be scared to do something or have general doubts, but you should always remember that you’re more than capable of anything you set your mind to!

Connect with people who love you

It’s easy to feel bad about yourself if you spend time with people who treat you badly or don’t appreciate you. Having people around you who support you means you’ll be able to speak through any problems you’re facing with someone who cares about your wellbeing.

Challenge yourself

Find something you like doing and do more of it. You could take up a hobby or volunteer your time for something you feel passionate about. I understand that it can be hard to be motivated to set goals for yourself, especially when you don’t feel confident or if you worry a lot about what other people think of you. But starting with a small challenge every week can be a great way to beat your insecurity.

Focus on your positive qualities

You may automatically think you’re not good at something which can stop you from doing the things you enjoy or trying new things, but this can make you feel worse about yourself. Instead, you should always highlight the things you know you’re good at, or parts of your personality that you’re proud of. Focussing on using your positives as your “superpower” boosts your self-confidence and helps you develop a healthy self esteem.

Take care of yourself

Probably the most important advice I always mention, is for you to take care of yourself, Choma. Your mental and physical health should always be a priority. When you feel bad about yourself, it also becomes easy to neglect your wellbeing, which can be really dangerous if you start making other unhealthy choices. You can always read these other articles on self-care for more tips.

I understand that it’s easy to develop a negative self-esteem throughout life – especially with bullying being such a problem, as well as toxic relationships in general. But I want you to know that you can overcome this and learn to really love yourself. It won’t always be simple, but it’s always possible, with a little dedication and self-love.

Remember, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).