Let’s start with what it means to be bisexual choma. To be bisexual means that you are romantically attracted to both males and females. In other words, if you are a woman, for example, it means that you could have a relationship with a man or you could have a relationship with a woman.

For some people who are bisexual, they might find that they are more attracted to one gender than they are another, for others they feel equally attracted to their own gender and someone from a different gender.

How do I know if I’m bisexual?

Trying to figure out if you’re bisexual or not can be confusing at first. A lot of the times we hear about being lesbian or gay because it’s expected that you can only be attracted to someone from the opposite gender or someone from your own gender – hardly ever both. Some people might even see bisexuality as a phase and think that you would eventually choose a gender that you’re attracted to. However, you can be sure that you are bisexual in the same way that someone is sure they are heterosexual or homosexual.

One of the simplest ways to figure out if you are bisexual or not is to answer a few questions such as: Do you feel like you’re attracted to both men and women? Do you think that you would be just as comfortable having a girlfriend as you would be having a boyfriend? If you answer yes, this means that you are attracted to people of both genders and this means that you are bisexual. The complication with figuring out whether you are bisexual or not only comes from the pressure of thinking that you have to choose one. Just like there’s no test to figuring out whether you are gay or straight, there’s no test for bisexuality chomas.  

Am I normal?

The answer is absolutely choma. It’s perfectly normal for people to feel attracted to the opposite gender and to their own. Your sexuality doesn’t make you strange or weird. Sexuality is just another biological part of you, like the texture of your hair or the colour of your skin. It’s just how you were born, like any straight person or gay person.

How should I behave if I’m bisexual?

Just be yourself choma. Being bisexual doesn’t change who you are. Again, being bisexual is just a part of you. If you’re wondering about how this may affect your relationships or the way others view your relationships, remember that being bisexual also doesn’t affect your ability to be in a committed relationship. Being bisexual doesn’t make you naturally more promiscuous than anyone else – that’s just a misconception that some people have about bisexuality. Regardless of your sexuality, you can be in a relationship where you show affection in ways other than sex – like kissing, cuddling, hugging or talking.

If you do choose to have sex then it’s important to have safe and responsible sex. This should be done regardless of your sexuality or the gender of the person you’re having sex with. For women having sex with women, you can avoid STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections) by using a barrier such as a dental dam or latex glove. For women having sex with men, you can use a male condom or female condom. The same goes for a man having sex with a man.

Understanding your own sexuality can be a bit difficult at first. If you’re not ready to speak to anyone close to you yet but need someone to talk to, you can find support groups online. For example, OUT magazine provides information and advice specifically for you if you’re part of the LGBTQIA community. You can  call the OUT Helpline on 0860 OUT OUT (0860 688 688).

Or you can speak to me privately via Ask Choma.

Once you do feel comfortable enough telling others, start by telling people you love and trust because it’s important to surround yourself with people who care and who support you.