Are you thinking about having sex? Are you sure?

As you grow, your body goes through important changes. During your teenage years is when you might notice quite a few of these changes, especially with your hormones. That’s because this is that stage where your body is preparing you to become an adult. This is perfectly natural, everyone has to go through it. In your teen years is also when you start to mature sexually. But does that mean you’re mature enough to have sex?

Let me explain sexual maturation first.

Sexual Maturation

As boys mature sexually, their testicles and penis increase in size, their voice will begin to deepen and may break, their growing testicles will begin to produce sperm and hair will grow around the pubic area as well the underarms and face.

For girls, their breasts will begin to grow and their hips become rounder. They will also begin to grow hair in their pubic area and their underarms. Young girls will also begin to menstruate, on average this begins at the ages of 12 or 13.

So now that there is sperm being produced and you are menstruating, do you think that that is your body’s way of telling you that you are ready to have sex?

Sexual feelings

Sexual feelings occur at any time in a person’s life. However, around puberty, these sexual feelings change. Sexual feelings may begin to show when a person touches his/her own genitals. While boys receive pleasure from touching the tip of penis, girls get pleasure by rubbing their clitoris and vulva. This feeling of pleasure is called masturbation. For many young people, masturbation could be their first sexual encounter. It is also a perfectly natural thing, so don’t think you have to feel bad about it chomas.

Do you want to have sex, truly?

Do you understand how to carefully put on a condom? Do you understand the risks of unsafe sex? Do you feel like the person you’re planning to have sex with is the right person? Do you even want to have sex in the first place?

If any of the answers to the questions above are “no”, then you should probably wait to have sex, it’s all right if you delay this very important part of your life.

Your reasons for having sex should not be due to you now becoming a ‘woman’ or ‘man’; it is deeper than that, so make sure you truly feel ready. If you worry that your partner might leave you if you don’t have sex, then that person is not worth it.

What if I am ready to have sex?

If you are ready to have sex for the first time, be safe. Use a condom. You can either do research or get assistance on how to properly use it to prevent unwanted pregnancies and HIV or STI transmission. You can also this article: Everything you’ve ever wanted to know about contraception (http://choma.co.za/be-safe/everything-youve-ever-wanted-to-know-about-contraception/) It would be good for both you and your partner if you both talk about having sex before you actually have it. Sometimes, talking it through with the person you plan to have sex with might reveal more than what you thought, like realising that you are not ready to have sex yet. Having this discussion is important! And, if you cannot speak about sex with this person, perhaps it is better to wait until you are ready to open this discussion with the person you are planning on having sex with.

Sex is meant to be a beautiful thing and it is meant to be enjoyable. This is not a race to see who has sex first; there is no rush. This is your life, enjoy it.