Relationships are beautiful and can offer genuine love, support, and a place of safety. However, relationships should not be something that we hide behind because we’re afraid of being alone. When you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, it can be a bit scary to think about leaving, but if the relationship is no longer good for you, then the best thing to do is to consider walking away and embrace being single. Do you think you may be scared of being alone? Here’s help.

Are you always in a relationship?

If you find yourself going from one relationship to the next, you might be afraid of being single. When a relationship ends, the best way to heal is to give yourself time to process everything that’s happened before you move on.  Moving on too quickly can be harmful not just to you, but to your new partner as well, since you may still have unprocessed feelings and issues from your previous relationship.

Settling for less

Sometimes, when we don’t know our worth, we settle for relationships that aren’t necessarily good for us because it feels safer than being alone. When you settle for a relationship, you may find yourself being with someone whose beliefs and values you don’t agree with and constantly feeling like you need to change yourself to make the relationship work. It’s a lot healthier to stay single until you find someone who doesn’t make you feel as though you have to compromise yourself.

Staying in toxic relationships

If the relationship is clearly not healthy, for example, if you are being abused or cheated on, then you might want to consider what your reasons for staying in the relationship could be. A toxic relationship does more harm than good in the end, since it can have negative effects on your self-esteem and your future. That’s why it’s important to know when you can no longer work on a relationship and choose to work on your happiness instead. Remember, you can be happy on your own – you don’t need a partner to feel fulfilled.

Compromising your health and safety

If you find yourself doing things that are not healthy or safe for you because you fear that your partner might leave you (like having sex when you’re not ready), then you should definitely rethink your relationship. Healthy relationships don’t demand you to compromise your safety, health and happiness to make the other party happy. So, if this is your situation, then it might be time to walk away and spend some time alone.

Here’s how to get over the fear of being single:

Find out why you might be afraid of being single – Look back and find the reason why you’re afraid of being single. Some people are afraid of being single because of childhood trauma, some because they have lost a loved one, while some people may be experiencing peer pressure. Finding the cause can help you start working towards letting the fear go and finally being able to be single and happy.

Work on self-love – Prioritise loving yourself because it’ll help you know when to walk away from relationships that are not good for you and be more selective with the people you allow into your life. Self-love helps us define our needs, wants, and boundaries and refuse to settle for someone who gives us less than what we know we deserve. You’ll be able to stay single until you find someone who respects, loves and appreciates you.

Cultivate fulfilling friendships – Focus on building healthy, fulfilling relationships with your friends or close family members. Having people who love us doesn’t just remind us that we matter, but it also means we have a good support system outside of our romantic relationships. Relying on one person (your partner) for everything can lead to a lot of resentment and disappointment, which is why we need to work on building strong relationships with friends and family. Remember to invest in these relationships not only when you’re single, but when you’re in a relationship too.

Being single allows you to spend some time getting to know and love yourself more. Remember, the most important relationship you will ever have, is the one with yourself. So, it’s important to nurture it by knowing when to walk away from toxic situations and investing time in yourself.

Remember if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).