It’s true, your happiness shouldn’t be completely dependent on other people, but personal relationships with others do have an impact on how you feel about others and yourself and strongly influence how you see yourself and others. Being in the right crowd can make you a better person, keep you motivated to do better and generally make you happier. But being in the wrong crowd can break you, especially if you’re blind to the fact that you’re in bad company. Here are ways to find out if you are hanging with the wrong crowd.

• You start doing things you wouldn’t normally do

Do you find yourself drinking too much, lying to your family on your whereabouts or chilling with people that a few months earlier wouldn’t be acceptable to hang out with? Have your marks dropped and do you find that you have changed for the worst? If you have answered “yes” to any of these, then look at the company you’re keeping. If these things started happening around the same time that you made these new friends, then they could have an influence on your behaviour. The minute you have to question yourself and your lifestyle change because of your friends, then they’re probably the wrong ones.

• They’re too busy for you

If something is important to you, you will always make time for it, no matter what. If you are the only one making an effort to meet up with your friends but they are too busy to meet you, maybe it’s time to re-examine this friendship. It’s difficult to be in such a friendship because there is always an effort made to have a friendship. If someone doesn’t appreciate your presence then it may be time to give them your absence chomas.  

• You’re uncomfortable around them

It’s natural to feel a little uncomfortable around a new group of people. It can also be intimidating meeting new people. However, after a while you start to get comfortable with these people the more time you spend with them. But, if you’re still uncomfortable around this new group of people then they are probably not the right crowd for you. Listen to your inner voice because that means there’s something about them that is not right for you and your growth.

• You don’t share the same values

South Africa has a diverse group of people who have different cultures and it’s important to celebrate and accept these differences and not judge. But, as soon as you believe that this group of people does not share the same morals as you, then it might be time to re-evaluate these friendships. If this crowd is constantly rejecting what you stand for or is constantly putting you down because you have different beliefs then it’s time to cut your ties with them.

• This crowd leaves you more stressed after socialising

Your friends should bring you joy and happiness and not leave you more stressed than before. It’s OK to listen to your friends’ troubles but if that’s all they are bringing to the friendship and taking parts of you without helping you, then maybe they are not the friends for you.

• Your goals are put on hold

If you find yourself spending more of your time on unimportant and unproductive activities that don’t help you progress in life – like partying almost every night or putting off your assignments just to socialise – it might be time to say “goodbye” to this crowd.

You can only be as great as the people you surround yourself with, so make sure the people you hang out with encourage you to do and be better and be courageous enough to let go of the people who keep bringing you down.