Dealing with grief after miscarriage

Not being able to carry your pregnancy to term is painful and traumatic. Often, people dismiss grief from a miscarriage or abortion , but this is still a painful loss and you deserve to mourn. Here’s how you can try to cope with the loss of an unborn child.

Reach out for support

If you’re comfortable with this, you can ask your loved ones for support during this difficult time. Let them know how you feel and how they can best support you. You can also join a grief support group to be around people who will understand you more.

Get counselling

If you’re struggling with grief and having a difficult time coping with everyday life, it’s a good idea to get counselling. Speaking to a professional can help you understand what you are going through. Your counsellor can give you practical tips to help you deal with your loss. You can get free counselling by reaching out to Lifeline at 0861 322 322.

Give yourself time to grieve

Unfortunately, there’s no timeline for grief. We all grieve differently and that’s okay. Give yourself as much time as you need to heal. Try to be patient with yourself during this process, by allowing yourself to cry, take time alone and talk about it whenever you need to. It’s also a good idea to get yourself a journal so you can write down your thoughts and feelings.

Do what makes you feel better

While you may not feel like it at first, it does help to do something you enjoy. Find a hobby and spend time doing it. This could be anything from exercise, to drawing or writing. This way, you’ll have something that brings you joy every now and then.

Where to get help for grief

Khululeka Grief Support: Khululeka offers grief support services to children and young adults. You can send them an email at admin@khululeka.org or call them on 021 685 1128 for more information.

SADAG: SADAG offers free counselling services, 7 days a week from 8am to 8pm.  You can contact them by calling 0800 21 22 23.

Grief is a rollercoaster sometimes and it can be difficult to cope with on your own, so try not to isolate yourself, Choma. There’s no wrong or right way to heal, so be kind to yourself and take all the time you need.

Remember if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).