Your sex questions answered
Whether you’re about to embark on your first sexual experience, or you’ve done it multiple times, sex can be confusing. With so many things to consider before, during, and after sex, chances are you probably still have a lot of questions. Here are some of these questions answered.
How do you know when you're ready to have sex?
You can feel physically ready for sex, but not emotionally. Ask yourself how well you know and trust your partner. Sex is an intimate act, so it’s important to make sure that the person you have sex with is someone that you trust and know well. If you don’t know if you trust your partner, then you may not want to engage in sex with them. Some questions you can ask yourself include, “am I at the age of consent”, “is my partner the age of consent?”, “do we both understand the consequences of sex and our options?”.
My partner is pressuring me to have sex. How do I know if they’re just using me?
At times in relationships, one person is ready to have sex but the other isn't. This can be stressful because you don't want to do something you're not ready for, or compromise on what you believe. You need to do what’s right for you. Anyone who tries to pressure you into having sex isn't really thinking about what matters most to you. People who pressure others into having sex are only looking to satisfy their own urges. If you feel pressure to have sex because you're afraid of losing your partner, this may be a sign that you're not in a healthy relationship. Sex isn't something you should feel forced to do just to please someone else.
Also, remember that there's more to a relationship than sex, so there’s no need to feel rushed or pressured into it.
Why do I bleed after sex when I’m not a virgin?
There are several reasons why you could be bleeding after sex, such as:
Friction during sex or not enough lubrication. Consider buying over the counter lubrication to prevent this.
Normal uterine bleeding if you're just beginning your period, or if it’s just ended.
Genital sores caused by herpes or another condition.
If you experience bleeding every time you have sex, see your healthcare provider.
Why don’t I have an orgasm (cum) during sex with my boyfriend?
There could be a few reasons as to why you’re finding it hard to reach an orgasm with your partner, such as;
- Not being stimulated enough
- A problem or underlying issue within the relationship
- Boredom in the bedroom
- A history of past emotional or physical trauma, like rape or abuse
- Health conditions that affect nerves or hormone levels
- Being shy or embarrassed about sex
Communication is key in any relationship. Talk to your partner about some of the problems you’re facing during sex, and come up with ideas that’ll make the sex enjoyable for both of you.
Why is my vagina painful after sex?
Pain in the vagina after sex could be an indication of an infection, or a change in hormone levels that can make your vagina dry. If it’s something the is consistent, you should consider visiting your nearest healthcare provider for a check-up.
Can I have unprotected sex after my period?
Having unprotected sex before, during or after your period doesn’t lower your chances of pregnancy. You’re also more at risk of contracting an STI or unplanned pregnancy if you have unprotected sex, so always use protection.
Is it normal to have brown discharge after sex?
If you’ve just ended your period or you’re expecting it to come within a day or two, it’s normal to have brown discharge after sex. Remember that healthy vaginal discharge is clear and if you’re experiencing unusual discharge after sex (and your period isn’t due or ended soon), it may be a sign of infection.
Can I be celibate after breaking my virginity?
Yes, you can. Many people choose to be celibate after they’ve experimented sexually. It’s simply your choice, and your reasons to be celibate are valid.
What’s the best condom?
If you use condoms perfectly every single time you have sex, they're 98% effective at preventing unplanned pregnancy. Condoms are the only contraceptive method that protects you from STIs. Depending on what your preference is, there isn’t a good or bad condom. You can try out different brands to see what works for you and your partner.
What’s the best contraceptive?
There a number of contraceptive methods you can choose from, namely short and long term. Choosing which contraceptive is the best all depends on your lifestyle, and if or when you’d like to have children. Your healthcare provider can help you choose a contraceptive method that’s best suited for you.
Sex is a very intimate act. It's not just physical, but can be emotional too. It's normal for you to have strong sexual feelings, but this doesn't always mean you have to act on them. Take your time and don’t let anyone pressure you. If you have any more questions, comment down below or inbox me privately.
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