Decoding your guy's mixed signals
Is your guy sending you mixed signals? All over you like a rash on a Friday night but ignores your WhatsApp messages for days? We wish we could give you a simple explanation for why guys (especially teenage boys) are so confusing but we’re confused most days ourselves. A bit of life experience has taught us a few things though so here’s what we do know.
Possible reasons your guy is interested one day and ignores you the next:
- Some guys just aren’t good with communication. Replying to a message feels like a lot of effort for most boys. They also think ‘ok’ is a full sentence. Meanwhile you’re obsessing over every smiley face, comma and the time it takes him to hit ‘send’. Sigh!
- He is playing it cool. Although he cares about you, he is suddenly worried that being in a relationship makes him ‘soft’ so he pulls back because he thinks it makes him look tougher in front of his friends.
- He’s playing hard to get. We can be guilty of this too. Testing people to see how much they like us and trying to make them want us more by making them jealous.
- He really is busy. School, chores, friends, sports – guys also have a lot going on and unlike us gals, they aren’t great at multitasking.
- He’s shy. Even though most teenage boys appear to be oozing confidence, many are just like us – insecure, shy and awkward in social situations.
- He’s just not that into you. This one is much harder to accept but at some point you do have to accept that if he really liked you, he would message you back, greet you in the corridors and walk you home occasionally. If after awhile none of the above happens, it’s best to cut your losses. He’s a fool and you deserve better.
How to deal with mixed signals from a guy:
- Don’t act desperate. This is a lot harder than it sounds but if your guy doesn’t respond to a message, don’t bombard him with three more. This will only push him away.
- Talk face-to-face. We’re all guilty of relying too much on instant messaging and social media to communicate with our friends and crushes. It’s time to go back to basics and talk to your guy in person and really get to know him.
- Confront him if he’s hurt your feelings or making you sad. Without getting dramatic, just mention to him that you don’t like it when he ignores you and all you’d like is a reply and acknowledgement of your feelings.
- Don’t chase after him. If he’s playing it cool, then occupy yourself with other things like your friends, studies and hobbies.
- Move on. Don’t tell yourself that this is the best you will ever get or all you deserve. If your guy does not treat you with respect, he is not the one for you. You will never find the right one if you’re distracted by the wrong one.
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