Signs Your Partner Only Wants Sex
Choma, do you suspect that you’re with someone who is only interested in you sexually? It’s not always easy to tell what the person you’re with is really with you for, especially if you haven’t spoken to the person about what you want from the relationship or where you both stand. I’ve spoken to friends before who tell me that they met someone and that there was a strong connection, but over time they noticed that things seem a bit too physical and not emotional, making them suspect that their partner only wants sex.
If you’re in this situation, Choma, and you're trying to figure out where you stand with the person you’re with, here are a few signs that they just want to keep things purely physical.
Every ‘date’ involves sex
Every time you see each other, you end up having sex or they insist that you do. If you don't have sex they get annoyed or angry and might end the ‘date’ early. I say ‘date’ because this might not even be a real date. Most of the time, when someone just wants to have sex with you they avoid going out with you to the movies, restaurants or anywhere that seems romantic (or even public). They might prefer to spend time with you at their place, your place or any place that’s convenient for sex.
They avoid personal questions
When you try to ask them personal questions about themselves then they give you vague or one-word answers. They might even quickly change the subject - probably to something sexual. They won’t really ask you any deep or personal questions either - such as anything to do with your friends, your family, your school or work. The reason for this, Choma, might be because they prefer to keep things light. They don't want to get too personally or emotionally involved.
They avoid making plans with you
They’re hardly available when you want to see them. When you try to make plans ahead of time they might say things like “I’ll let you know” or “We’ll see”. Most of the time when you see each other it might be more spur-of-the-moment and it will mainly be their idea (when it’s most convenient for them or benefits them). They would also always seem too busy - too busy to meet up, too busy to answer your calls and too busy to text you back. Essentially, Choma, someone who only wants to have sex with you will basically just call you when they need you or when they need sex and would expect you to be available.
They don’t introduce you to anyone
You don’t know their friends or their family members. They might avoid introducing you to anyone because they don't want you to know too much about them - like where they hang out, who they hang out with, who their family members are, their full name etc. This just makes it easier for them to leave the relationship when they want to.
They focus more on your physical attributes
When they compliment you, it’s usually about your looks. They focus a lot more on what you look like or what you wear. Their compliments might also be very sexual.
You might hear about other partners that they've been with or are with while you’re together. They might not even try to hide it from you. A lot of the times when someone only wants sex, they don’t really consider your feelings and so are not afraid of hurting you.
Choma, if you are in a situation where you’re with someone who only seems interested in sex then it’s time to face it and make a healthy decision for yourself. If you want something meaningful with someone who isn’t interested in committing, then you might end up being the one who gets hurt. While you might be making them a priority, you’re just an option to them. At the end of the day, it might not be worth holding on to someone who is not afraid of letting you go at any point.
Remember that sleeping with someone who has multiple partners also puts you at risk of contracting Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs), so it’s important to not only protect yourself emotionally but physically to. Use a condom every time you have sex - with anyone.
Do you need relationship advice? Remember that you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657)
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