Does your relationship need a spring clean?
Spring is the season of newness, freshness and healthiness. It’s a time where you let go of those unhealthy habits you formed in winter and start afresh with a more positive, healthier lifestyle. Essentially, Choma, spring cleaning can be applied to every area of your life - from your home and environment to your mind, body and even relationship. So have you looked at your relationship lately and seen if it had gotten a bit unhealthy over the seasons? Here’s a quick test to see if it’s time to clean up your relationship a bit and get it back into shape.
A healthy relationship is about being flexible and open to change. Both partners need to be willing to adapt. If your relationship is feeling rigid and stiff - in other words, making you feel like you or your partner are not willing to compromise or that you have to do whatever they say - it’s time get those stretches in by communicating about your needs in the relationship and learning to give each other some healthy space when needed.
A healthy relationship needs to be able to stand the test of time and keep going through the good and the bad. This doesn’t mean there won’t be fights. In fact, small arguments can actually be healthy for your relationship as they teach you things about yourself and your partner and often help you grow closer. Just make sure that your fights stay clean, once you enter nasty or spiteful territory, it’s hard to pull back. Most importantly, never be afraid or too stubborn to apologise, even if it means you’re the first one to do it.
Is there a healthy balance in your relationship? Do you both share the decision making equally? Is there mutual trust and mutual respect? Without balance in a relationship an unhealthy inequality can start to creep in, leaving feelings of resentment. This can eat away at your relationship. Think about how you react in your relationship, are your being fair to your partner? Are they being fair to you? Expressing these feelings and finding balance is a sign of a healthy relationship.
Does your relationship have the strength to stand up to challenges? Are other guys or girls a problem? Do you find yourself being jealous or do you trust your partner 100%? Trust is an important factor in a healthy relationship, if you find yours wavering it’s time to have a conversation with your partner or to question if you have trust issues. Either way Choma, communication is key.
Does your relationship make your heart beat faster? Do you get butterflies thinking about your partner? While these things are important, they’re not the same in every relationship and not everyone feels them. What a healthy relationship can’t live without though is love. Do you still have that loving feeling for you partner?
Are you feeding your relationship the healthy sustenance it needs to grow and get stronger? It doesn’t have to be champagne and roses all the time but are you working towards the relationship? Doing things to make your partner feel loved and appreciated. Are they doing the same for you? Not everyone is good at the whole romance thing, but there are more ways to say I love you than just showing up with a box of chocolates.
So, Choma, is your relationship fit and ready for the summer, or is it time for a spring clean?
Remember, I have a whole section focused on giving you all sorts of relationship advice. But you can also send me a message to talk to me about anything. So if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).
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