5 Ways to Let Go of Your Anger
Have you ever been angry before Choma that you don’t know how to deal with it? Well, just like happiness and sadness, is a normal emotion so there’s nothing wrong with feeling angry from time to time. The problem with anger comes in when you don’t control it and when you hold onto it for too long. It’s understandable that anger towards certain tough situations can be hard to let go of, but letting go of anger is something that you need to do for yourself. At the end of the day, Choma, the person anger essentially hurts the most is you. It’s important to deal with anger in a healthy way, for the sake of your own health and wellness. Here are a few quick tips for diffusing your anger in the moment.
Check the situation
Anger can cloud your judgement of a situation and sometimes make it seem bigger than it is. It’s easy to get caught up in the moment when you’re angry. That’s why it’s better to just take a bit of time to reflect on the situation. Ask yourself if the situation really is worth you being angry over. Are you angry about something that is completely beyond your, or anyone’s, control? Are you angry at someone who doesn’t even know that you're angry at them, or doesn’t seem to care? The sooner you realize that the situation is not worth being upset over, the easier it will be to take your focus off it Choma.
Consider the outcome you want
Why are you actually angry? What would you rather be feeling? How do you want the situation to change? These are questions that you should ask yourself when you feel your anger start to rise. If you’re arguing with someone Choma, don’t focus on trying to be right but rather on expressing how you feel. If you’re angry at a situation, write down your frustrations and list the ways you want the situation to change. Focusing only on the problem is what causes the most frustration. Look for solutions and focus on the positive outcomes you want to achieve.
Talk about it
The best way to get rid of anger is to find healthy ways to let it out and then let it go. The worst thing you can do to yourself is to keep your anger bottled in - it just makes it easier to hold onto and harder to deal with. Even if there’s no one around to talk to at the moment you feel angry, talk to yourself about it. Just expressing your anger out loud could make you feel better. Why not try this exercise when you're angry and alone:
Stand in front of the mirror (or use your phone camera to record/look at yourself)
Start with the words “I am angry”
Then continue with “I am angry because…” and continue speaking about the situation.
Since talking about your anger can help, just saying it out loud to yourself might just diffuse your anger in that moment.
Give yourself time
If you tend to get defensive or react too quickly with anger when a situation or person upsets you, rather wait before you respond. Anger can make you behave in ways that you might regret later. This is because anger is a physical reaction. When your body is triggered by anger, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, your muscles tense and your body releases adrenaline (the energy hormone). When you’re in that state it can be hard to think rationally. When you feel yourself going into that state, rather walk away and take some time to breathe. Move away from the person or thing that is making you angry. Once you’ve calmed down enough, then talk about how you feel.
Be kind to yourself
If you've always struggled with calming yourself when you're angry, don't give yourself a hard time about it. Be patient with yourself while you learn how to deal with your anger. Beating yourself up about being angry simply means that you’re directing the anger at yourself and not actually dealing with it.
Anger is a normal reaction and it’s okay to feel angry Choma. The important part is not letting that anger influence you to act in a way that is hurtful to yourself or those around you. Seek help if you need it - from supportive family and friends or even from online sources (like sadag.org). Working through the anger will help you realize what triggers your anger (so you can stay away from those situations) and what makes you feel good (so that you can always focus on the positive).
Do you feel like you need to speak to someone? Remember, you can send me a message to talk to me about anything. So if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).
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