Choma, you may have heard of the term “blesser” a few times – especially on social media. It’s a term that became quite popular last year. Now you have things like “blesser finder” on websites and social media pages. However, social media might only show you one aspect of that lifestyle – where everything looks lavish and even tempting. But there is another scarier side to the blesser lifestyle that you won’t see and this is when a blesser turns out to be a sex trafficker. Sex trafficking is when you are forced into prostitution – usually by being kidnapped and/or held prisoner. This has happened to many girls around the country and the world and the only reason why we even become aware of this Choma is because some girls are lucky enough to escape.

How ‘blessers’ lure girls into prostitution

The promise of wealth and a life of luxury is a very powerful thing Choma. We see this over and over when people are promised easy money or jobs out of nowhere and suddenly their world is turned upside down. Even though not every blesser/blessee relationship involves men trying to sell women off, you might not always know just what you’re getting yourself into. This is especially because some of these relationships start online. Just this year the South African police services told eTV news station, eNCA, that they had assisted a case with two minors. The two young girls were trying to figure out how they could become rich fast and so they searched “how to get rich” on the internet. They came across a man in Hillbrow who must have promised them money because they were found hitchhiking to Gauteng. Luckily the police got to them on time.

Where does it start?

The basic agreement between a blesser and blessee is that the blesser, or sugar daddy, will buy the blessee, or sugar baby, things like clothing and cellphones etc. and basically give her some sort of financial assistance. Most of the time, the blessee will offer the man sex in return for the “gifts”.

How does trafficking come into the mix?

The problem with this comes in when the ‘blesser’ forces the the woman to do things because he feels like she “owes” him. For some, this is where the blesser turns into a trafficker and forces a woman into selling her body for sex in order to ‘pay him back’. Again Choma, this is not to say that every situation involving a blesser will turn into a trafficking situation – but sometimes men will only pose as blessers offering women her money, a job or just generally a better way of life. They then use the women. Some women are lured in with these promises but are then kidnapped and forced to take drugs until they become addicted. Eventually the only way to sustain their new drug habit is to “sell their bodies”. This is a terrible situation Choma and no person deserves to go through it, no matter what. This is why it’s so important not to trust “easy money” or job opportunities that seem too good to be true.

How to keep yourself safe

The internet is a great place to connect with friends, keep up to date with the latest news or trends and to showcase your personality. However, it is also a place that gives stalkers, traffickers, harassers and other terrible people a better opportunity to connect with their victims. So be careful when you start getting job offers, requests for financial help or romantic proposals from strangers online (especially on social media). Always verify who the person is and if they are legitimate Choma.

Don’t share any of your personal details, especially not your ID, home/school/work address or bank card details.

Don’t meet strangers who approach you online without notifying your friends and family about it. It’s also better to meet up with someone who at least one of your friends or family members know (and trust).

Be careful of strangers you meet in the mall promising to get you a modeling contract or give you a good life. Especially if it’s just out of nowhere.

Don’t accept lifts from strangers Choma, you never know what their intentions are so it’s definitely safer not to do it until you know and trust someone enough.

Think carefully about what you do and who you trust, especially when it comes to strangers. A lavish lifestyle can be tempting, but it’s not worth your life or the pain you could endure if you get caught up in a situation where you’re forced into doing things you don’t want to do – or can’t escape the people who promised to give you a good life.

Remember, you can also send me a message to talk to me about anything. So if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).