Positive self-talk can help you get through low points and regain confidence. Being supportive of yourself brings a more open and productive perspective to a situation. Your self-talk and thoughts can shape your reality. Here are some effects of negative and positive self-talk:

Negative thinking

Negative self-talk is when you focus on preconceived ideas that you’re not good enough or always a failure or can’t do anything right, this is called negative self-talk. Some common forms of negative self-talk include:

• You magnify the negative aspects of a situation and filter out all the positive ones. For example, you had a great day at work. You completed your tasks ahead of time and were complimented for doing a speedy and thorough job. That evening, you focus only on your plan to do even more tasks and forget about the compliments you received.
• When something bad occurs, you automatically blame yourself. For example, you hear that an evening out with friends is cancelled, and you assume that the change in plans is because no one wants to be around you.
• You automatically anticipate the worst without facts that the worst will happen. The drive-through coffee shop gets your order wrong, and then you think the rest of your day will be a disaster.
• You think of all the things you think you should do and blame yourself for not doing them.
• Keeping impossible standards and trying to be more perfect sets yourself up for failure.

The Power of Positive Thinking

A positive thinker looks on the bright side of challenges. Having a positive attitude means you have an optimistic outlook. An optimistic attitude means you have hope. You believe things will work out well and ultimately you will succeed.

This is how you can replace pessimistic thoughts with positive thoughts:

• Change the way you think. Instead of saying, “I don’t want to do that, I’ve never done it before,” say, “I’ll try it because I may learn something new.”
• Instead of thinking, “I’m never going to get better at this,” say, “I’ll try again until I figure it out.
• Write down five things you’re grateful for each day. This will help you recognize and feel the positive vibes in your life.
• Don’t compare yourself to others. It only fills your mind with negative thoughts and self-doubt. Reaffirm how awesome you are, and that your awesomeness has nothing to do with anyone else.
• Post notes around your house where you’ll see them. You can post “‘I am good at this and that”, or “I am special and unique because of”, or “I am proud of myself for this and that”.

When your state of mind is generally optimistic, you’re better able to handle everyday life stresses more constructively.

Remember, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).