Relationships are fun but at times they can be stressful.

It is important for you to know beforehand what you will and will not accept in a relationship – and stick to your decision. A deal breaker is that one thing that you will not compromise. For some it is a prison record, others it is dating someone with a child, and for many it is cheating.

Finding out that your partner has been cheating on you is devastating. The overwhelming emotion is one of inadequacy. You keep asking yourself if you were not good enough for that person. When I deal with people that have been cheated on, the first thing I try to get them to understand is that it is not about them. Hard as it may be to fathom this truth – you need to accept it very quickly so that your recovery is quicker. When a person makes the decision to break their commitment to you, it is their failure. Many times in defence of their decision they will find reasons to justify their actions – and many times those reasons are placed on the hurt partner. Never accept that.

How do you recover from such a situation? It comes back to you knowing what you will and will not accept. If cheating is your deal breaker, then walk away from the relationship. Sadly what tends to happen is that the hurt partner will try and change themselves to better satisfy or suit the cheating partner. Unfortunately you end up giving the cheating partner permission to continue treating you like a doormat.

Love does not mean that you must compromise your value system. That is not love and do not let anyone fool you into thinking that it is. Even if your peers tolerate cheating, and you are made to believe that it is the norm – if this is your deal breaker walk away. It may take months to get over the person that you trusted and loved so much. Cliché as it may sound – time does heal.

Do what needs to be done, to minimize the memories that you have of this person. Change your number, stop going to the places that you used to go to, delete their photos, stop interacting within the same friendship circles and most importantly stop communicating with the person. Remind yourself daily that the person that you fell in love with is not the person that you left. And one day you will wake up you will realise that your choice to leave was the best decision ever.

Your self-worth is priceless. Never forget that!