There’s no ‘right way’ to be a woman or to express what femininity means to you. For a lot of reasons, people have tried to label certain traits as feminine or not feminine enough, and that’s not okay. If you identify as a womxn then you have the right to define womxnhood for yourself. Here are 5 queens who don’t allow their expression to be boxed or limited.

Quianna Camper

Image via Instagram

Quianna believes that to be truly feminine, you should take comfort in who you are and how you’re made. Once you achieve this, you’ll be able to embrace your femininity and womxnhood in everything you do. Quianna channels her femininity in fitness and motherhood.

“Fitness plays a major part in me achieving my feminine power because it allows me to work on my feminine curves! Also, being a mom allows me to connect with my femininity, because I get to be a nurturer”

Lena Waithe

Image via Instagram

Lena is a screenwriter, actress and producer, who became the first woman to win an Emmy Award for Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series in 2017. Lena’s message to womxn is to always be their authentic selves, whether the way they look fits the traditional mould of female or not.

“So I think what we need to do, is stare at ourselves in the mirror a little bit longer, and really own who we are and not try to be what we think others want us to be.”

Lady Skollie

Image via Instagram

Artist and activist Laura Windvogel (Lady Skollie) does work that deals with being a womxn in a country like South Africa, where gender-based violence is so widespread. She questions common beliefs around identity, gender, sexuality and consent in the South African environment.

“What we need to make people feel is that it’s okay to ask questions. It’s okay to ask questions about their own sexuality.”

Adele Jackson-Gibson

Image via Instagram

Adele is a great example of a womxn who defines femininity beyond physical looks. She rejects the idea that, to be a beautiful womxn you must have soft features, plump curves and an hourglass figure. Instead, she lives in her truth and by doing so helps, people understand that they can also define womxnhood for themselves.

“I feel like my purpose in life is to connect people not only to other people, but to the truth of themselves. Love is the biggest inspiration. Love is connection.”

Zoey Black

Image via Instagram

Zoey advocates for the rights of trans women in Cape Town. She believes that the traditional idea of what makes a womxn or a man is limited and ignorant. Instead, her transition experience has taught her that being a woman is all about how you identify. It isn’t based on the gender that you’re assigned at birth nor is it based on your physical features.

“I said to my partner at the time: ‘I think I’m trans’. It was such a profound moment for me because I had suddenly acquired a vocabulary to explain and express how I’d felt my entire life, a vocabulary that freed me.”

While these 5 queens are different in many ways, they’re definitely connected by the willingness to truly and fully express their femininity and womaxnhood as defined by them. They’re challenging you and me to forget what we know about what makes a woman and they encourage us to start a conversation around new ways of thinking and referring to femininity and womxnhood. Don’t be afraid to start this conversation with your friends, Choma.

Remember if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).