Living with HIV doesn’t change the fact that you deserve to be in a healthy, loving relationship. An engaging and loving relationship can be a great source of support and happiness. Here are tips for dating while you’re living with HIV.

A fulfilling dating life

You can have a fun dating life chomas, there’s nothing wrong with being open to dating when you’re HIV positive. Regardless of your HIV status, dating should be fun. Instead of focusing on meeting the right partner, be open to meeting a few new people. You don’t have to be in a relationship with everyone you meet and you certainly don’t have to disclose your status to everyone you come into contact with. Disclosing your status should be totally up to you.

Focus on friendship

It’s important to have a good network of friends, regardless of your relationships status. Having friends around you who are there for you means that you have emotional support and people who care. Good, solid friendships also enhance your life in general, making you less likely to feel like you need to be in a relationship out of loneliness or desperation. A romantic relationship should feel like a healthy addition to your life, but not like a must. You don’t need anyone to complete you or validate you choma. You’re good enough with or without a romantic relationship.

Be your best self

You don’t have to change who you are to make yourself feel more ‘dateable’ or to make others feel more comfortable about your HIV status. A good enough partner for you should either have enough knowledge about HIV or be willing to learn enough about HIV. If they’re willing to learn you could even teach them more about HIV, talking to them about protection and always being safe when you do become intimate. It shouldn’t be up to you to convince them choma. All that you need to be is the best version of yourself. Take care of yourself – physically, mentally and emotionally. Don’t be afraid to speak to your healthcare provider about your sexual health and to your counsellor about your emotional concerns. Focus on your health and your happiness, knowing that you don’t deserve any less. Be your best self so that when the right person for you comes along, you’ll know.

Know your worth

You don’t have to apologise to anyone for living with HIV. HIV is just like any other chronic condition and is actually more manageable than many chronic conditions. The issue is the discrimination that comes with living with HIV that people have attached to it. The discrimination can be linked to fear of rejection – the fear that people won’t want to date you because you are infected. It’s important to know that HIV is what you have, not who you are. Having HIV doesn’t make you less of a catch, it doesn’t mean that you don’t have a great personality and certainly doesn’t mean that you have to settle for any less than you deserve.  

Disclosing your status

Remember chomas, your status doesn’t define your self-worth.  Disclosure can be an extremely tough process, but remember that you don’t have to face it alone. Talk to someone you trust first and to your healthcare worker who can help you in the disclosure process. Remember that Choma has your back and you can send your questions to Ask Choma. Sharing your HIV status is a personal choice, and it’s important for your future and current sexual partners to know the risks of HIV and to make you that you use a condom every time you have sex. Talking to your partner can be a very emotional experience. You and your partner must have an HIV test.  If your partner has been exposed to HIV due to unprotected sex, they can go onto post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) that has to be started within 72 hours of the time the person is exposed to HIV although 24 hours is best.

Whether you’re living with HIV or not, it’s important to build a healthy relationship with yourself first and to be confident in who you are. Confidence is not only sexy, it’s also something that can help you deal with other’s reactions. Not everyone will understand HIV, and that has more to do with them than it has to do with you. Knowing that you are worth being loved will help you choose a partner worthy of your love.