Choma, I’m not going to lie, break-ups aren’t pleasant. Whether you were dumped, or you did the dumping, it’s never fun. Heartbreak has a way of consuming your whole life: you can’t eat, sleep, or take joy in the things you used to when they remind you of your ex.

I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t need to be that way at all. Yes, a healthy mourning period after the end of a relationship is good for you. But after that has passed it, it then becomes time to pick yourself up and move on with your life. Hold on to the happy memories and most importantly, the lessons you learned from the experience. And choma, there will always be lessons learned. 

As Beyoncé says in her song “Irreplaceable”: “Standing in the front yard telling me how I’m such a fool, talking about how I’ll never ever find a man like you. You got me twisted”. Now, our Queen Bey understands a thing or two about heartbreak; but, just like you choma, she’s strong and knows her worth and understands that learning to move on may be a process, but is necessary.

There’s an important lesson in that: don’t let heartbreak hold you back. Love, and heartbreak, can be your strength and self-truth, if you let it. When you find yourself in this situation, there are a few steps to take which will help you get there:

Let go of the pain

Yes, it hurts, but holding on to that hurt isn’t doing you any favours. Time to ditch the pain and let your heart recover.

Keep the good memories, say goodbye to the bad

Just because it’s over, doesn’t mean you need to suddenly develop amnesia. The good memories will always be special. Just don’t hold on to them too tightly.

Release bitterness

Even if you were hurt, the only way you’ll grow is if you release your bitterness and make space for all the good that’s headed your way.

Forgive and forget

When I say forgive and forget, I mean completely. This includes not telling everyone who’ll listen to you about all the horrible things your ex did. How can you move on if you invite the negativity into your head and heart on a regular basis? So accept the situation, and most importantly, forgive yourself and slowly move on.

Let go of your fear

This is a big one. When we get hurt it’s natural to shrink away from the idea of being hurt again. We become scared of the idea of being hurt again and it holds us back. Allow yourself the courage to say goodbye to fear.

The best part? When you’re ready, and open for new love, it will find you –like those beautiful Spring blossoms outside your window. They may fade away and be gone in Winter, but as soon as Spring starts they return again in all their beauty and glory. Choma, you’re all beautiful blossoms, here’s wishing you beautiful days of Spring and love.