A fall out with your friend can be really difficult to deal with and bounce back from. While some friendship breakups are beyond repair, some friendships are worth giving them another shot. If you’re looking to rebuild a broken friendship, here are a few things to consider.

Is it worth rebuilding?

Take time to really think about the friendship you had – was it healthy or toxic? A healthy relationship, where your friend understood your values and respected them is worth giving another shot. On the other hand, it may be a good thing to break away from a friendship where you always felt your beliefs and values were compromised.

Reach out

Once you’ve decided that the friendship is worth rebuilding, consider reaching out to your friend. Think about what you want to say and why – this will help you be sincere and will let your friend know that you want to fix things. Keep in mind that reaching out doesn’t necessarily mean that your friend will respond. So, don’t take it too hard if they take their time or don’t respond at all. Remember, they also have a right to choose whether it’s worth responding to – even if they were the cause of the fall out.

Address the issue

If at this point your friend has agreed to be in contact with you and maybe even meet up, I encourage you to address the reason for the breakup. Remember, avoiding the issue for the sake of keeping the peace will only cause another fall out. Share your feelings about the breakup, how it affected you, why it means so much to you, as well why you want to rebuild the friendship. Listen to your friend’s concerns, too. This way, everyone gets heard and the real issue can be resolved.

Set the tone of the friendship

Healthy friendships are built on shared values and principles. This doesn’t mean that you should have identical likes and dislikes, though. What’s important is that you and your friend discuss values that will guide your friendship and also set out boundaries that shouldn’t be overstepped. This way, everyone is accountable and responsible for the rebuilding of the friendship.

Losing a good friend isn’t easy and giving up on a good friendship can be even harder. It’s okay to want to rebuild your friendship. Just remember that reuniting with your friend shouldn’t come at the cost of what’s really important to you. They must also be committed to making things work.

Remember if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).