In any type of relationship, introducing your new partner to your parents can be nerve-wracking. However, when your parents are still getting used to the idea that you’re dating someone that’s the same sex as you, this can be even more stressful. But if you feel like now is the right time to introduce your family to the girl who’s stolen your heart and need a few tips, here are a few.    

Prepare your parents

Instead of springing the introduction on your parents, allow them to be mentally prepared for it by actually letting them know your plans. Surprises don’t always go down well and if your parents feel like they were not prepared for the meeting, this can make your parents and your partner feel very uncomfortable.

So have a discussion with your parents first. Sit them down and tell them that you’ve met someone whom you like very much and would like for them to meet. Let them know why them meeting your girlfriend is important to you.

Try not to take it too hard if they express that they’re not ready to meet your girlfriend just yet. If it was hard for your parents to accept that you’re in a relationship with someone who is the same sex as you, and they are still coming to terms with it, things might still be a bit sensitive so they may not necessarily be ready to physically see your romantic relationship. Try to be patient and respect their feelings. Maybe they’ll be ready to meet your girlfriend after a week or after a month. Rather not force the introduction. 

If your parents are on board with meeting your girlfriend then great, you can move on to no. 2! 

Define your relationship to your parents

You wouldn’t be introducing your girlfriend to your parents if it wasn’t at least a bit serious between the two of you. If your parents don’t understand your sexuality, they might think or define your relationship as something less serious, i.e. calling your girlfriend your ‘friend’ or simply seeing them as someone that you’re going through a phase with. Tell your parents whether you’re serious about the person or not, and also let them know that your relationship isn’t that much different to any other relationship. Your partner is your girlfriend, just like any other girlfriend so she shouldn’t be treated like she’s your ‘special friend’. The more your relationship is treated like any “normal” relationship the more comfortable everyone will feel.

Just make sure that you explain this to your parents respectfully, they might still in the process of accepting your sexuality and need time when it comes to understanding everything.

Don’t go overboard

When your parents do finally meet your girlfriend, try not to make a huge display of your relationship. Regardless of your sexuality, being overly romantic (especially with your parents around) can make people uncomfortable. If your parents are still a bit sensitive about your sexuality, try to be understanding of this as well. Rather than focusing on showing how in love you are, focus on keeping a conversation going. Remember, the point is to get your parents to get to know your girlfriend better. You can tell them how you met your girlfriend, highlight common interests that your girlfriend might share with your parents (or yourself) – just keep the conversation going between all of you and make your parents feel more included in your life. The more you all talk and do things together, the more the comfortable everyone will be.

Parents are generally sensitive about the people that their children date. So just know that there is a chance your parents won’t like your girlfriend. They may disagree with your relationship for reasons other than the fact that your girlfriend is the same sex as you. They might think she’s not the right fit for you. Your parents probably just want you to be happy, so whether they are accepting or not, be respectful of their feelings. If you know that your relationship is a healthy one, stay positive about your relationship and about the meeting.

Good luck choma!