So you have that one friend you’ve been close to for a while, but lately you’ve started to develop feelings for them. Naturally, you’re wondering what the right move is – should you let them know or should you let it slide? This is quite a dilemma to be in, but it happens to the best of us. When you know someone for a long time and feel like you can trust them with your life, it’s easy to start to feel like you can also trust them with your heart. I’ve gotten a few questions lately from people in this situation. Before you make the decision, here are a few things to think about.

Do you think they’re also into you?

In situations like this, it’s really easy to get signals mixed up. Maybe your friend does really like and care for you, but only as a friend. Is it possible that you’re misreading their feelings of care for feelings of romance? Has your friend told you that they feel the same way you do? Would your friend want to change the status of your relationship, from friends to lovers?

Do you share the same values?

Being friends with someone and dating them are completely different. When you’re in a relationship, it’s always best that your values are similar, because it’s good to have a partner who doesn’t just respect your beliefs and values, but shares them too.

Are your feelings real?

It’s easy to mix up your love for your friend, with being in love. It’s important that you give yourself enough time to make sure that your feelings for them are real before thinking about a relationship with them, Choma.

Is it worth the risk of your friendship?

Dating your friend seems like a perfectly good idea, because what’s better than dating someone who knows you and already likes hanging around with you? Like I said Choma, being friends with someone and dating someone isn’t really the same. You might have issues come up that you never had to deal with when you were friends. At the end of the day, will your friendship still survive if the relationship doesn’t work out? If it doesn’t, will you be okay with losing your friend?

The best way to handle anything in your friendship is to talk about it. Being open and honest with your friend is the best way to figure out if your feelings can develop into something more. After you’ve had time to think about your feelings on your own, have a conversation with your friend about how you feel. More than anything, if they’re truly your friend- no matter what happens next, you’ll both still have the connection you started with.

Remember, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).