Starting a new relationship can be exciting, especially during the festive season. While this is a fun experience, it’s important to know whether you’re looking for a short, summer fling or a long-term relationship so that you don’t find yourself settling for something you don’t really want. Here’s more.

What does a Long-term relationship look like?

Commitment – In a committed relationship, your partner will make it obvious to you that they want to build a long-term relationship with you. They’ll make their intensions clear and ask you to make the relationship exclusive – meaning that it’s just the two of you.

You’ve met their loved ones – Someone who wants to build a long-term relationship with you will introduce you to their friends and some family members at some point.

There’s a plan for the future – Your partner will be open to discussing the future with you. They’ll let you know their desire for the relationship and ask you about your plans for the relationship.

They spend time with you – Your partner will always make plans to spend time with you. Most of the time, they’ll make plans ahead of time. They’ll enjoy private time with you without only expecting sex.

What does a fling look like?

You can’t define your relationship – Your partner is always vague about the status of the relationship. They avoid any labels and hide behind the excuse that it will spoil things.

Conversations are centred around sex and having fun – Your conversations are always about sex and getting physical. Whenever you want to talk about the relationship or the future, they cut the conversation short and would rather entertain conversations around other things.

They keep the relationship a secret – If your partner doesn’t want to show off your relationship and refuses to introduce you to their friends, then it may be a sign that they aren’t looking for a long-term relationship.

Choma, you deserve to be in a relationship that’s transparent and not confusing. You should never be unclear about where you stand with someone or whether they are only dating you. However, if a short fling is what you are looking for, then be clear about this with your partner and remember to use condoms if it does get sexual – your health and safety should always come first.

Remember if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).