There’s a huge difference between men who are confident and those that are dominant. Dominant men are your typical cocky and kind of arrogant guys that believe the good guys always finish last. Did one pop up in your head? On the other hand, confident guys are sure of themselves but don’t put others down. Take this quick fun quiz to determine if the guy in your life is confident or dominant.

When you first met him what was he like?

1. Very flirtatious and knew immediately where our relationship would go
2. He showed interest in me but was respectful of how I felt
3. Was too shy to speak to me at first

When you started dating what was he like?

1. Very protective. He needed to be around me all the time to make sure I was safe.
2. We spent a lot of time together but he also spent time doing his own thing.
3. We would see each other mainly when I asked him.

Which of these describes him?

1. He’s the centre of attention wherever he goes, even if it’s not always good
2. He’s known and admired by his social circles
3. He’s not very social.

Who makes most of the decisions on dates:

1. He mainly decides where we go and whether we go out or not
2. We take turns to decide and he doesn’t really mind where we go
3. I usually decide, he doesn’t mind as long as I’m happy

When he meets your group of friends, does he:

1. Acknowledge them but doesn’t make an effort to get to know them
2. Acknowledge them and try to get to know them
3. Make a huge effort to know all about all of them

If he says something to hurt your feelings how does he normally react?

1. He refuses to acknowledge he was wrong and makes you feel bad instead
2. Acknowledges that he is wrong and apologise.
3. Feel bad about it and try by all means to make it up to you.

If you disagree with him on something, how does he react?

1. Argues until I agree with him
2. Acknowledges that we have different opinions but doesn’t force me to agree.
3. He ends up agreeing with me

How does he mainly feel about the relationship?

1. He makes me feel like I’m lucky to have him
2. He makes me feel like we’re lucky to have each other
3. He makes me feel like he’s lucky to have me

RESULTS

Now that you have answered the quiz, it is time to calculate your results. Simply count all your results to see if you answered mostly A, B or C.

MOSTLY A’s

Sounds like your guy is a bit more of a dominant than confident type. The difference between dominance and confidence is how you make those around you feel – a dominant guy will lift himself up while hurting others. A confident guy believes in himself but doesn’t believe he is better than anyone. Just because someone is bold and knows what they want, it doesn’t mean they are good for you – especially if they tell you what to do, where to go and who to see. For more advice read: 

4 ways your partner is controlling you

Your rights in a relationship

The 5 habits of a confident guy

MOSTLY B’s

He definitely sounds more confident than dominant. It looks like he respects you, your space and your relationship. A confident guy knows that he needs to spend time making the relationship work but he also understands that this doesn’t mean he should take you away from the things and people you love. He cares about what you think, what you like and how you feel and tries to respect that without letting you overpower him or feel overpowered by him. It’s important to be with a confident guy and not a dominating one because you’re more likely to maintain a healthy relationship with a confident guy. For more information on how to maintain your healthy relationship read:

Relationship goals everyone should work towards 

The importance of knowing your partners love language

What does a good relationship look like?

MOSTLY C’s

Seems like you’re dating a shy guy who isn’t very dominant nor very confident. Of course, it’s good to be with someone who doesn’t control you or make you feel inferior. But being with someone who you can control and dominate is not good. A healthy relationship is about fairness and equality. So it’s important to understand that and not take advantage of your partner but rather encourage good communication. To make sure that it’s not you who is dominating your partner, read:

5 Ways you may be disrespecting your partner’s boundaries

Small ways you’re mistreating your partner

Little ways to show your partner more appreciation

Remember, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).