When you’re in a relationship and the dust of the honeymoon phase starts to settle, things can feel like they’re heading nowhere slowly. This can feel even worse when all you see on social media is couples doing things like going on holidays and getting each other expensive gifts. Now, I’m not saying doing those things are bad, but I know that it can make you think those are the ultimate relationship goals. The thing is, relationships are a lot of hard work and no one ever posts about the effort it takes to make them last. So if you’re trying to think about how to make your relationship more than just an instagram post, here are a few real goals to work towards.

Equality

Equality in a relationship means there is a respect that works both ways. A lot of the time, young women are pressured to “submit” to their partners, but Choma, you need to remember that a partner who loves you will always want to know your thoughts and opinions, and will compromise where they can so that you can also be happy. A relationship is always a two-way street.

Good communication

There’s nothing better than speaking to your partner and knowing that they’re actually paying attention to you- especially when things get rocky. Good communication is so important and it’s what will get you through the times when you and bae disagree on something (which is completely okay!). Take this quiz to check if your communication is healthy. 

Healthy commitment

When you and your partner decide that you want to be in a relationship (even if it’s an open relationship), it means you’re making the decision to commit to each other and not break that trust. Healthy commitment is about choosing not to put each other at risk by cheating and having unprotected sex, which is a choice that’s healthy for the relationship, and it’s good for your personal health.

Growth 

As you get older, you’ll find that some of the things you once cared about aren’t really as important as they used to be, and you start to see yourself prioritising things that actually matter to you and that are good for you- this is an example of growth, and it should be a goal in your relationship too. Growth means that you and your partner are looking towards some kind of future, or even just that you’re committed to understanding each other a lot better so that the relationship can work better too, Choma. 

There are so many other healthier goals that you and your bae could work towards- goals that don’t just include showing only the good times online. Do you have any others to add to the list? Let me know in the comments below.

Remember, if you or a friend need someone to talk to, you can speak to me for advice or help here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).