Healthy relationships provide a balance of power, where both partners are able to contribute differently and equally. However, in some relationships, there’s an imbalance of power, where one person is not given the opportunity to contribute equally to even the most important decisions affecting the relationship. If you find yourself feeling powerless in your relationship, here’s how you can reclaim your power.

Be honest

It’s important to do an audit of your relationships. This doesn’t suggest being harsh on your partner, but rather thinking about the relationship from its inception to the present. Consider the most important decisions and who typically makes them. If you don’t participate in decision-making in your relationships, consider why and how it affects you.

Define boundaries

After you’ve audited your relationship, consider whether boundaries were crossed and how you felt as a result. For example, if you believe your partner does not take your values or worries seriously, or they disregard your need for space, you should make a note of it so that you may address it. You might first put out your boundaries and needs so that you are clear on them.

Communicate boundaries

You’ll need to communicate your personal boundaries to your partner once you’ve defined them. Have a conversation with them in which you communicate your worries and establish new relationship limits that include your personal ones. Feel free to emphasise why these boundaries should be followed and what would happen if they are not.

Invest in yourself

Choma, the most important relationship in your life is the one you have with yourself. That is why, before attempting to impress others, you must invest time, effort, and energy in your own well-being, goals, and health. Investing in yourself means prioritizing your schooling, work, aspirations, and happiness over any romantic connection. Before putting effort into your partner or the relationship, take the time to understand who you are and what your dreams are. It’s self-love, not selfishness.

Time to let go

If you’ve spoken to your partner and taken the steps above to try and reclaim your power, but your partner isn’t willing to respect your needs, it may be time to consider whether staying in the relationship is worth it. Letting go of a relationship doesn’t mean you’ve failed; it just means you love yourself enough to let go of things that don’t bring you happiness.

Remember if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).