Is it just me, choma, or does it sometimes feel like the whole world is trying to tell you that the only way to be truly happy as a girl is to be in a relationship? It’s all romance and romantic pressure all the time – from movies, to the Internet, to your mother (ja, I know… I’ve been there), to your friends.

When you ask a friend how their new relationship is going, they might say “I’m so happy”. When you ask mom why she chose your father, she might say “he made me laugh” or “we were so happy together”. But, choma, forgive me for stating the obvious, but you don’t need a leading man to star in your own movie.

Get real

Ok, first things first, here is a bit of hard truth that your loved-up friends aren’t going to want to hear: the boys you date in your teens and early 20s are probably not “the one”. Some of them might work out, but most won’t, so even though it feels like the real deal to your friends, it might be more fleeting than they realise.

The truth is that the friends you make at this age are far more likely to “stand the test of time” than the people you date. Harsh, but true.

Get social

Because that’s the hard reality, you’re going to want to nurture, not neglect, those friendships. This means even if you do date someone for a while, don’t get so wrapped up in it that you forget to spend quality time chilling with your friends.

If they want the boyfriends to join you, then do something as a big group and you won’t feel like a third wheel.

Get over it

The important thing is not to let yourself get down about what is not a big deal – so you’re single? So what? Lots of people are single, and the next nice guy will or won’t come along soon. Does it matter? You’re in charge of your happiness, not someone else choma!

Get out

So don’t get sad, get out. Go be sociable and go explore – there are loads of things you can do by yourself in groups: go for a walk, see a movie, listen to music, perfect those dance moves, read a book… It doesn’t matter as long as you have the right attitude.