Choma I’m sure you’ll agree that relationships, when they are healthy, are great to be in. They offer you support, comfort and great company. But no relationship is perfect and it takes work to make sure that you and your partner are getting the best out of it. There are some really obvious things that we know we shouldn’t do in relationships, like physically, emotionally, mentally or verbally abuse our partners. However, there are other little things you might be doing that could be making your partner uncomfortable or simply hurting them. Here are some of those things: 

Being late

Being late is not always within your control, but being late all the time could be bad for your relationship and disrespectful to your partner. If you’re always late for that date, it might make your partner feel like you don’t respect or value their time.

Always being on your phone

Checking your phone every now and then or answering important calls when you’re with your partner is fine. But checking your social media notifications or answering all your texts and instant messages in your partner’s presence is another way you’re telling them you don’t value your time together. It can make your partner feel neglected and unimportant.

Making all the decisions

Are you always the one saying where you should go and deciding what you should do as a couple? While taking charge can be good (especially if you feel like you’re better at planning than your partner) doing it all the time can make your partner feel like their opinion or ideas don’t matter. Make sure that you include your partner when making plans and that you ask them how they feel before making decisions.

Insulting them with jokes

People in relationships often joke and tease each other without really meaning it, but constantly doing it to degrade your partner (especially in front of others) is not good and can affect your partner’s self-esteem. Saying something like “My girlfriend/boyfriend is such an idiot.” even as a joke, can still be really insulting. Ask your partner how they honestly feel about the way you joke about them. If they say they don’t like it, stop doing it.

In a relationship, it’s important to take your partner’s feelings into consideration. Even in the small things, a lot of hurt can be caused.

A healthy relationship means being considerate and understanding to your partner. Communication is key, so talk to your partner more so that you can both work on ways to treat each other better.

Do you want to start incorporating equality into your relationship Choma? Read: Equality in your relationship

You should also read:

What does a good relationship look like

Does your relationship make you feel better or worse

Little ways to show your partner more appreciation

Remember, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657)