Tag: peer pressure

All You Need To Know About Teen Sexual Health

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Teen sexual health is about how sex affects your physical and emotional health. It means knowing how to form healthy relationships and making the right decisions around sex.

As your body changes during puberty, how you think, feel, and interact with others also changes. You may have new feelings and thoughts about sex. Understanding who you’re becoming as a sexual young adult is also part of teen sexual health.

Forming healthy sexual habits

For all teens, taking responsibility for sexual health is part of growing up. Whether you choose to have sex or not, responsibility includes educating yourself about:

When deciding to have sex

Deciding to have sex is your decision, and yours alone Choma. Never allow yourself to be pressured into having sex when you’re not ready either physically or emotionally. Even if your friends are all having sex and you’re the only one not having it, don’t give in to the pressure. Read up about sex or talk to a trusted friend.

If you’re going to do it, be safe

Having sex can be great, but it comes with consequences if you don’t protect yourself. You may be at risk of getting HIV and other STIs as well as an unplanned pregnancy. It’s important to know how to protect yourself, by using a condom (it can be the male or the female condom). The use of contraceptives also prevents unwanted pregnancies.

If you have recently had unprotected sex or a condom burst, you may need emergency contraceptives which is a morning-after pill to prevent you from getting pregnant. Please remember Choma, the morning-after pill is not a primary contraceptive but is taken in cases of an emergency, when your primary contraceptive fails.

Consent is important.

Consent means both of you are in it when it comes to doing anything sexual. It means no one is forcing the other to do anything they aren’t comfortable with doing.

How will you know if you are ready for sex?

Many issues, such as peer pressure, curiosity, and loneliness, might lead you into early sexual activity. It’s important to wait until you’re sure and ready to participate in any sexual activity. The decision should be yours and no one has the right to pressure you into doing anything you don’t want to do.

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, an  Instagram message, a  Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

Coping with peer pressure and bullying

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Your friends influence your life, even if you don’t realise it. Its only normal for us to learn from one another due to the amount of time we spend with friends. But what happens if that influence is unhealthy? Here’s how to cope with peer pressure and bullying.

What is peer pressure?

Peer pressure happens when a group or individual encourages others to change their attitudes, values, or behaviours to be the same as those of the influencing group or individual. This influence can be both positive and negative.

An example of a positive influence can be your friends encouraging you to attend class, and study ahead of an exam. While an example of a negative influence can be your friends encouraging you to cut class or bunk school, or smoke in the toilets when you know you’re not comfortable doing so.

What is peer pressure bullying?

Peer pressure bullying makes you feel internal pressure to do things your friends are doing. Most of the time, this pressure comes from the fear that if you don’t behave the way your friends do, then they’ll make fun of you, think you’re boring or stop being your friend.

Walking away from peer pressure bullying

It seems tough to be the only one who says “no” to peer pressure, but you can do it. Paying attention to your own feelings and beliefs about what’s right and wrong can help you know the right thing to do. Inner strength and self-confidence can help you stand firm, walk away, and resist doing something you know you’re not comfortable with. You can tell them “No” and walk away. You may also want to consider finding other friends and classmates to hang around with.

It can really help to have at least one other peer, or friend, who’s willing to say “no,” too. This takes a lot of the power out of peer pressure and makes it much easier to resist. It’s great to have friends with values like yours, who’ll back you up when you don’t want to do something.

Even if you’re faced with peer pressure when you’re alone, there are still things you can do. You can simply stay away from friends who pressure you to do stuff you know is wrong.

If you continue to face peer pressure and you’re finding it difficult to handle, talk to someone you trust. Don’t feel guilty if you’ve made a mistake or two. Talking to a parent, teacher, or a counsellor can help you feel much better and prepare you for the next time you face peer pressure. You can also chat with me. Remember that a good friend will never pressure you to do something you’re not comfortable with.

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

Are you being pressured into taking drugs?

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Peer pressure from friends can negatively influence the decisions you make. In some cases, you might feel a lot of pressure to fit in. Feeling this way can cause you to make decisions based on what you think your friends want you to do, even that’s not what you’d normally do, in hopes of fitting in or being noticed. Here’s how to avoid being pressured into using drugs with friends.

Know where you stand

Work out where you stand on issues like drugs and alcohol. Knowing your own mind makes it easier to stay true to yourself.

Prepare yourself

Think about how you’d like to respond when your friend offers you drugs or a drink, so you know what to say. Practice saying “no”- the more you do it, the easier it gets.

Choose friends wisely

Understand who’s offering you the drugs and why. Friends should understand if you say no and people you don’t know you very well may expect something in return. Surround yourself with people who respect your decisions.

Be firm

Be firm when telling your friend that you don’t want to drink or use drugs. If they try to persuade you, don’t feel like you have to change your mind.

Be yourself

Although your friends might not show it, they’ll respect you more if you’re assertive and clear about what you do and don’t want to do. You don’t need to compromise yourself to be liked. Healthy friendships will try their best to be supportive and not judge you based on your decisions.

Focus on your long term goals

Remind yourself of your goals and all you want to achieve in life. Using drugs or alcohol might derail you from where you want to get to. If the company you are keeping is not helping you reach your goals, you might want to change the people you surround yourself with,

If you continue to face peer pressure and you’re finding it difficult to deal with, talk to someone you trust. Don’t feel guilty if you’ve made a mistake or two. If you or someone you know is struggling from drug abuse You can get in touch with the following organisations:

Narcotics Anonymous on their helpline: 011 509 0031 / 083 900 6962.

NACOSA on 012 940 2829.

Remember Choma, you should never feel forced to use drugs just to please anyone or be liked. This can be hard to accept, but it helps to try.

Remember if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657

Reasons people experiment with drugs

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People take drugs for a number of reasons, for some it’s because they want to change something about their lives or they are not happy about their life in general, so they think drugs are a solution. But eventually, the drugs become a huge problem. Here are 7 reasons why people experiment with drugs.

A Bonding Experience

Some people are shy and have trouble making friends, especially at a new school or a new job. They may turn to drugs and alcohol to help them feel more confident or to bond with people in social settings. This isn’t the same as direct peer pressure because it comes from the person’s need to fit in.

Depression

Some people turn to drugs and alcohol as a a way to escape their depression. They may feel like drugs are a good way to lift their mood or run away from the intense emotions they are feeling. This is not a healthy way to deal with depression, though Choma. There are many places where you can find help and learn about healthy ways to deal with depression. One organisation you can contact is the South African Depression and Anxiety Group on their helpline: 011 234 4837.

Curiosity

Everyone is curious about something at some point and it’s often the reason why lots of teens start using drugs. The only downside is that drugs always end up being a problem, so rather shift your curiosity towards healthier things.

Boredom

One of the most common reasons that someone starts experimenting with drugs and alcohol is that they are simply bored and have no deeper interests. If you are bored, it’s better to take up a new hobby, find something to do around the house or get occupied with school work or reading. Experimenting with drugs just isn’t the answer.

Stress

People who experiment with drugs because of stress often don’t have healthy coping skills, which then leads to drug abuse. SADAG offers advice and tips on how to manage life’s daily stressors so you don’t end up having unhealthy coping habits.

Peer Pressure

We all learn about it and think it won’t happen to us, but often peer pressure is the reason why most people experiment with drugs and alcohol. Everyone experiences peer pressure, but how we respond to it is very important. Remember, that it’s okay to say ‘no’, especially if a friend is offering you an illegal substance or anything that might be harmful to you. It’s better to be unpopular than to risk your health. Family history

Drug use can be inherited – this means that if there is a family history of drug addiction or alcoholism, it might be easier for you to become addicted to these substances. The best thing to do if you know that you have a history of addiction in your family, is to rather stay away from all drugs completely. Rather safe than sorry, Choma.

As difficult as it may be to face your problems, the consequences of drug use are always worse than the problem that you might be trying to solve with them. The real answer is to get help or healthier coping mechanisms and not take drugs in the first place.

Let’s chat, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

Here’s what peer pressure really looks like

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Our friends’ opinions really matter to us. It’s normal to want to do the same type of activities as your peers but it becomes a problem if you’re doing it just to fit in. You’d be surprised at the number of teenagers and young people who experience peer pressure without even knowing it. Here’s what peer pressure actually looks like.

Peer pressure isn’t always obvious

Although you may think peer pressure always involves being asked to do something illegal or dangerous – most of the time, peer pressure is really subtle. For example, your friends can convince you to change the way you look and dress, or your partner could keep convincing you to prove your love for them through sex.

The truth is, Choma, if you find yourself constantly having to explain or justify why you do or don’t want to feel something to your friends, you’re probably experiencing peer pressure.

Peer pressure can be non-verbal

Sometimes people don’t have to say anything to put pressure on you. For example, feeling like you need to stay longer at a party because your friends will be angry if you leave, is a kind of peer pressure. That’s because your actions are being influenced by what they expect from you, rather than how you feel.

Peer pressure isn’t always bad

Sometimes your peers can put positive pressure on you. Your friends may influence you to become more assertive, try new activities, or to do better in school. It’s better to hang around people who motivate you and encourage you to do positive things, instead of people who always get you into trouble.

Ways to deal to peer pressure

Be yourself – It’s okay if you’re interested in the same things as your friends. Just make sure that you’re doing these things because you genuinely like them and not because you want to please your friends.

It’s okay to say no – Although it might be hard at times, there’s nothing wrong with saying no to your friends or bae when they ask you to do something that makes you uncomfortable such as smoking, drinking or having sex. Remember, someone who really cares about you, won’t be upset at you for not doing something that makes you uncomfortable.

Ask for advice – Some situations make it really hard for you to say no, especially if you’re being bullied into doing something. Rather speak to your guardians, mentor, educators or Ask Choma for advice on how to handle situations where you feel like you’re being forced to act a certain way.

Peer pressure can be quite tricky to deal with. Although it can be positive, you should always do things because you really want to, and not because your friends or partner will be upset with you if you don’t.

Remember if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

 

5 common school struggles and how to deal with them

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Choma, while your time spent at school or varsity may be a happy experience, you may get moments where you feel as if you can’t cope. No two students will have the same experience, but there are school struggles that most will deal with at least once during their time there. Here’s how to deal with them choma.

Belonging to a group

As a student, you are still learning about who you are, but also how your identity will fit in with others. While you’re still in school, socially, you may have conflicting desires to make sure that you don’t conform to anyone else’s rules while still having the desire to be liked and accepted by others. In other words, you may try to not fit in, while still trying to fit in at the same time. Confusing hey? These may sometimes show in your fashion choices or the decisions you make when it comes to your social life, such as picking extramural activities. Take your time on choosing your friends while experimenting to find out what you like (and not like) for yourself.

Keeping up your grades

Whether you want to further your studies or start entering the workforce, or whether you’re already in tertiary and studying towards that career, maintaining good marks is important to you. It is also a difficult challenge to maintain good marks when you may also need to work to save for a car or tertiary, and have fun whenever possible. Use your time wisely, by tackling harder work first and cut down on joining too many clubs and societies at school.

Pressure to have sex

You are at that stage where you may experience “wild hormones,” and are likely to feel pressure or desire to experiment sexually. Before you do, understand how to protect yourself or others from unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs). An honest conversation between you and your partner can help you both find solutions when it comes to difficult sexual decisions.

Substance Abuse

Choma, these days most students have access to drugs or alcohol, and at some point may be offered one of these substances by a friend or a stranger. You may sometimes believe that nothing bad can happen if you try something “just once.” Don’t do it choma, it will not end well. Rather step away from that situation and alert someone that you trust about it. If you’re already in this situation and think that you, or someone you know, may have a substance abuse problem, click here.

Lack of motivation

Low motivation may be one of the biggest problems you have to tackle during your education choma. Without enough personal drive to get through the volume of work to get you to the next grade or year, completing assignments and studying can seem impossible. First try and find out the reasons for your lack of motivation. You could be tired or overwhelmed with work, maybe something happening at home is stressing you out or you could be worried about failing the year. Whatever your reasons, speak to a friend, school counsellor, teacher, a parent or anyone else who can help you get back on track with your books. And of course you can always speak to me by sending a question to Ask Choma.

Choma, being a student can be difficult. You need to balance your schoolwork with other responsibilities, which can include work or time spent with your partner, friends and family. Once you start applying these tips, you can develop skills that will assist you throughout the rest of the year.

Do you have a story to share about your past school struggles, or would you like to Ask Choma something relating to coping at school this year? Whatever it is, I’m always here to listen. You’ve got this. You’re not alone.

Choosing to have sex when you are older

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Are you ready for sex? Are you reeeally ready to being physically intimate with someone? Pressure to have sex might come from your boyfriend, or friends who are already ‘doing it’ (even though they might not be), or from a television series or movies.

You might also feel the pressure from a certain person you’re in a relationship with. There have been instances where for some people who have a girlfriend or a boyfriend, it is expected of them by their partner.

But, what if you are not ready or interested in having sex? Here is why it is OKAY to wait to have sex until you’re older.

1) You are just not ready yet

If you feel like not taking that step yet, so what? You have the right to wait until you feel comfortable enough to have sex. Not everyone will feel ready to be intimate with someone at different stages of their lives. What is important is YOU need to only have sex when YOU are ready to.

2) When it doesn’t feel right, don’t force it

So, you’ve met this guy who is pretty cool to chill with, but there is just…no…chemistry! Every time you are alone together you can’t bring yourself to even kiss him. You have ‘friend zoned’ him way before you have even realised it! That’s all right. Just being friends is still cool. It will be much worth it with someone you simply can’t friend zone.

3) You value your beliefs

Your beliefs don’t necessarily have to be religious. It simply could mean you see worth and value in waiting – you believe that you are special and the person who you will eventually have sex with has recognized that worth too. This is a great feeling chomas!

4) Reduced risk for contracting HIV, STIs and pregnancy 

Normally, after you have had sex for the first time, paranoia might start kicking in. You might worry about ‘the condom breaking’ which means you might be pregnant already or you might have even caught an STI. You are now so scared that you rush to get tested the next day! When you wait to have sex, you have more time to plan on making sure that none of that happens because when you do eventually become intimate with someone you will have been fully open with that person with regards to having safe sex.

5) You will tell which guys are not worth your time

Waiting to have sex until you are older will help you pick out which guys are just not worth it. The older you get, the more obvious it will be to see who just wants to have sex with you and nothing more. This will also make you realise which guys are prepared to wait.

6) It’s your body…end of story

This sums everything up. Nobody has the right to do anything to you or your body unless you give them permission to. Wouldn’t you rather do things that make you happy rather than making decisions that you know will make you feel regretful later on?

The truth is sex is a beautiful experience, and if you feel like waiting, that’s perfectly fine! There is no rush. You are young, you have plenty of time to have sex. Wouldn’t you rather wait to have it with someone worth having it with?