Tag: Teen peer pressure

Coping with peer pressure and bullying

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Your friends influence your life, even if you don’t realise it. Its only normal for us to learn from one another due to the amount of time we spend with friends. But what happens if that influence is unhealthy? Here’s how to cope with peer pressure and bullying.

What is peer pressure?

Peer pressure happens when a group or individual encourages others to change their attitudes, values, or behaviours to be the same as those of the influencing group or individual. This influence can be both positive and negative.

An example of a positive influence can be your friends encouraging you to attend class, and study ahead of an exam. While an example of a negative influence can be your friends encouraging you to cut class or bunk school, or smoke in the toilets when you know you’re not comfortable doing so.

What is peer pressure bullying?

Peer pressure bullying makes you feel internal pressure to do things your friends are doing. Most of the time, this pressure comes from the fear that if you don’t behave the way your friends do, then they’ll make fun of you, think you’re boring or stop being your friend.

Walking away from peer pressure bullying

It seems tough to be the only one who says “no” to peer pressure, but you can do it. Paying attention to your own feelings and beliefs about what’s right and wrong can help you know the right thing to do. Inner strength and self-confidence can help you stand firm, walk away, and resist doing something you know you’re not comfortable with. You can tell them “No” and walk away. You may also want to consider finding other friends and classmates to hang around with.

It can really help to have at least one other peer, or friend, who’s willing to say “no,” too. This takes a lot of the power out of peer pressure and makes it much easier to resist. It’s great to have friends with values like yours, who’ll back you up when you don’t want to do something.

Even if you’re faced with peer pressure when you’re alone, there are still things you can do. You can simply stay away from friends who pressure you to do stuff you know is wrong.

If you continue to face peer pressure and you’re finding it difficult to handle, talk to someone you trust. Don’t feel guilty if you’ve made a mistake or two. Talking to a parent, teacher, or a counsellor can help you feel much better and prepare you for the next time you face peer pressure. You can also chat with me. Remember that a good friend will never pressure you to do something you’re not comfortable with.

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

Here’s what peer pressure really looks like

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Our friends’ opinions really matter to us. It’s normal to want to do the same type of activities as your peers but it becomes a problem if you’re doing it just to fit in. You’d be surprised at the number of teenagers and young people who experience peer pressure without even knowing it. Here’s what peer pressure actually looks like.

Peer pressure isn’t always obvious

Although you may think peer pressure always involves being asked to do something illegal or dangerous – most of the time, peer pressure is really subtle. For example, your friends can convince you to change the way you look and dress, or your partner could keep convincing you to prove your love for them through sex.

The truth is, Choma, if you find yourself constantly having to explain or justify why you do or don’t want to feel something to your friends, you’re probably experiencing peer pressure.

Peer pressure can be non-verbal

Sometimes people don’t have to say anything to put pressure on you. For example, feeling like you need to stay longer at a party because your friends will be angry if you leave, is a kind of peer pressure. That’s because your actions are being influenced by what they expect from you, rather than how you feel.

Peer pressure isn’t always bad

Sometimes your peers can put positive pressure on you. Your friends may influence you to become more assertive, try new activities, or to do better in school. It’s better to hang around people who motivate you and encourage you to do positive things, instead of people who always get you into trouble.

Ways to deal to peer pressure

Be yourself – It’s okay if you’re interested in the same things as your friends. Just make sure that you’re doing these things because you genuinely like them and not because you want to please your friends.

It’s okay to say no – Although it might be hard at times, there’s nothing wrong with saying no to your friends or bae when they ask you to do something that makes you uncomfortable such as smoking, drinking or having sex. Remember, someone who really cares about you, won’t be upset at you for not doing something that makes you uncomfortable.

Ask for advice – Some situations make it really hard for you to say no, especially if you’re being bullied into doing something. Rather speak to your guardians, mentor, educators or Ask Choma for advice on how to handle situations where you feel like you’re being forced to act a certain way.

Peer pressure can be quite tricky to deal with. Although it can be positive, you should always do things because you really want to, and not because your friends or partner will be upset with you if you don’t.

Remember if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).