For some of us, talking about sex in general can be both difficult and uncomfortable but chomas, talking about sex is important. It’s even more important to talk about sex and condoms with your partner before sex, even if it might not be easy to do.

Talking to your partner about having sex and using protection

So how can you overcome your embarrassment around talking about condoms? Knowing how a condom works is the first step. So you might need to get some of them to familiarize yourself with how they work. Once you feel like you’ve understood for yourself how a condom works, the next step is choosing the right time to bring up the topic to your partner. The next step is practising how you are going to start this conversation, so you can start with a few opening lines, such as:

“Can we talk about us?” or

“I’m ready to take our relationship to the next step but can we talk about condoms first?”

“I saw some condoms the other day at this store and they looked so different and cool.”

Try and talk about condoms at an earlier stage of your relationship. Once you are caught up in the heat of the moment, you might find yourself feeling pressured into doing something you might regret later. So, the sooner you talk to your partner the better.

Start off with the one of the opening lines you’ve practised. Continue to ask him if he knows how a condom works and if he would be prepared to demonstrate, to you, how it works.

Throughout your conversation, make it clear that there is no way you are going to have sex without using a condom. This is where you’ll find out how much your partner knows about safe sex and whether they value the importance of protecting both of you against any Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs).

If he says he’s “clean” and doesn’t feel the need to go for an STI Screening or an HIV test, says he doesn’t like how a condom feels or threatens to break up with you, then maybe it’s time to say “bye!”.

Talking about using other forms of contraceptives like the Pill should also be discussed if you feel that just using a condom is not enough. However, – the best contraceptive – when used consistently and correctly – that not only protects you against pregnancy but STIs too, is the condom.

Remember chomas, it’s about responsibility and respect for you and your partner. You have a right to protect yourself and your health, and using a condom correctly and consistently is an important way to do that – you owe it to yourself and your partner to talk to each other about protecting yourselves against STIs. You have taken a big step by getting answers from me, and that in itself shows that you are serious about protecting yourself. Well done!

Chomas, how would you bring up the conversation about sex and condoms with your partner? Let me know in the comment section.