Choma, do you find yourself feeling guilty whenever you put yourself first? Putting yourself first is not the same as being selfish. Putting yourself first simply means that you take care of yourself, love yourself and don’t put yourself in harms way. It’s about growing and developing yourself as a person first before you can help others and your future relationships. It’s not only good for you but also good for those around you. Before you think “But Choma, that doesn’t make sense” here are a few examples that explain exactly what I mean:

It puts you in a better position to care for others

When you take care of yourself and your needs, you’re in a better position to be there for others. Think about it, Choma. Constantly worrying about what everyone else needs from you and how you can take care of everyone else’s needs while ignoring your own can put you under a lot of strain. Eventually you might be too tired or too frustrated to do take care of anyone else (including yourself). This is why self-care is important. Self-care simply means that you take care of yourself mentally, emotionally and physically. It means that you understand your needs and actively make sure that you take care of your needs. When your needs are taken care of, it’s easier  to see how you can help others or be there for others because you’re more positive and have a healthier mindset and wellbeing.

Here are more articles to help you practise self-care:

Why saying “no” can be a good thing

5 Reasons Your Sexual Health is Important

5 Unhealthy Habits of Stressed Out People

5 Steps to take back your mental health

Find focus with meditation

Makes doing things more meaningful

Part of prioritising yourself means prioritizing what makes you happy. This doesn’t mean only thinking about your happiness and becoming inconsiderate towards what other people need Choma. This simply means that you focus a lot more on doing things that make you happy and add value to your life. Doing things that make you happy also make them more meaningful. It makes what you do come from a good place. Don’t feel bad about not wanting to do certain things if your heart is just not in it. The best way to spread happiness is by focusing on doing good things that actually make you happy.

Here are more ways to prioritise your happiness:

How to feel empowered everyday

5 habits to develop this year

5 Ways to spring clean your mind

5 Ways to stand up for yourself

You learn more about your strengths

When you actually put yourself and your happiness first, you actively set aside time to learn about yourself and your own needs. You’re able to focus on what you’re good at and learn more about what you need to improve. Let’s just say you love writing, and you want to use your writing to encourage and help people. Then taking time out for yourself could actually give you the opportunity to focus on doing this.

Here’s more on finding and pursuing what you love:

Deciding What you Want to Be

How to stick to your goals

How to plan for your future

5 ways to help yourself when you’re going through a hard time

You’re better to others

Having a healthy self-esteem means that you have healthier relationships with others. Did you know that people with low self-esteems tend to display unhealthy behaviour? This can include being mean to others.For example, one of the reasons why people bully others is because they don’t have a healthy relationship with themselves. Putting yourself first, and loving yourself means that you’re not looking for other people or the world to make you happy. You create your own happiness and this makes you more likely to treat others better because of it.

Here are more articles about self-esteem and making yourself happy:

Why do people cyberbully others?

Self-Confidence Tips (having a healthy relationship with yourself)

5 Ways to Love Yourself Today

Is Your Body Image Affecting Your Life?

Choma, change beings with you.iIf you’re feeling like you want to change the world but feel like you don’t know how to contribute – start with yourself Choma. Treat yourself with the same kindness you want to treat others with. Give yourself the same amount of time and effort you want to give to those around you. Just by doing that, you are already contributing to changing the world.

If you need advice or help, remember that you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657)