An unexpected or unplanned pregnancy can come as a shock and can be really scary for a lot of people. It’s normal to feel afraid, isolated and confused, especially if you don’t know who to go to for help.

However, there are a few options available for you to consider. The decision you make should be based on your values, needs and lifestyle. While there’s no right or wrong way to deal with this situation, there are definitely things you should avoid. That’s why I’ve put together some guidelines to show what not to do after finding out that you are pregnant.

If you’ve decided to keep the pregnancy

When you’re young and experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, your first instinct might be to avoid telling people, especially your parents or partner. Although you have the right to privacy, it does help to at least tell someone you trust about your pregnancy, rather than keeping it a secret.

The problem with keeping your pregnancy a secret is that, you’ll be creating a situation where you can’t turn to your loved ones for help and support. Yes, they may react with intense emotion but they’ll come to terms with the news, eventually.

If your partner refuses to be part of the pregnancy, this can be stressful but keep in mind that there are still other people in your life that you can turn to. They can offer you sound advice and be there to help you take care of yourself and your baby, during and after pregnancy. You don’t have to go through this alone.

If you’ve decided to give your child up for adoption

When giving up your child for adoption, you need to still remember to take all the necessary precautions to make sure you and the baby are healthy throughout your pregnancy. Don’t skip your prenatal care appointments and medication, and try to stay as stress-free as possible for your health and that of the baby.

You want to give your baby the best possible chance at a healthy and happy life, even if you won’t be the one raising them. So, remember to avoid substances like alcohol, cigarettes and other drugs. While the adoption process may seem daunting, it’s important to remember that there are responsible ways to go about it – don’t abandon your child in unsafe or unsanitary places. Rather, speak to your nurse or doctor, or contact organisations that help with adoption.

You might want to consider your family members as an option if you still want access to your child once they are born.

If you’ve decided to terminate the pregnancy

The decision to terminate a pregnancy isn’t an easy one to make or follow through on.

However, if you are sure that this is the route you’d like to take, remember that there are safe and clean ways to go about it. Avoid consulting unlicensed abortion services advertised on the side of the road. Those are scams and they are illegal. Backdoor abortion services can lead to lifelong health risks and even death. Keep in mind that the only safe way to terminate your pregnancy is through registered medical facilities, like Marie Stopes. Make sure that you get the appropriate information to make this decision. If you’re still not sure, you can have a chat with me.

Another thing you have to avoid is any home remedies or homemade “abortion methods”, like drinking Coca-Cola and Disprin or taking laxatives and ‘blood cleaning’ agents. Not only do these methods not work, but they can also do some serious damage to your health in the long run. I know that having to go to the clinic or doctor to inquire about safe termination is scary, but doing it the right way is a huge part of helping you heal and live a normal, healthy life afterwards.

To be honest, deciding what to do with an unplanned pregnancy is not an easy decision to make. Doing your research about the different options available to you can help you make the best and safest choice for you.  Try to involve someone you trust when considering these options and always prioritise your health and safety.

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).