Being in a relationship can be a wonderful thing, especially when you and your partner respect and support each other. But being in a relationship with someone does not mean that you belong to your partner. In a relationship you still have the right to your own individuality and independence. Here are more rights you should know you have in your relationship.

You have the right to privacy

Privacy is a big deal in a relationship – especially because people in relationships feel like they have the right to know everything about their partners (which some people may think includes knowing what their partner’s phone password is). But remember that you don’t have to give every personal detail away to your partner. You can say no to them logging into your social media profiles or checking your phone messages. The most important thing in a relationship is not passwords, but trust.

You have the right to refuse sex

Being in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean that they automatically have any right over your body. You can be in a relationship with someone and never have sex with them – and the truth is Choma, if that is what you want then that is completely acceptable. Your boyfriend or girlfriend should not force you to have sex with them whenever they feel like it. You should only have sex if, and when, you’re comfortable with it. If a partner forces you to have sex with them when you say no, then it is rape Choma.

You have the right to refuse substances

Being in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean having to adopt their bad habits. If your partner pressures you to share cigarettes, drugs or alcohol with them – you have every right to (and actually should) say no. Someone forcing you to do things that will be harmful to you is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.

You have the right to choose who you spend your time with

Being in a relationship with someone also doesn’t mean that you owe them all your time. You can, and should, spend time with others (and have ‘me time’ for yourself). If your partner makes you feel bad every time you want to go out with anyone other than them, then it could be a sign that they’re controlling.

You have the right to leave

If at any time that you feel the relationship is wrong for you, and for whatever reason, then you have the right to end the relationship. You deserve to have the kind of love that makes you feel happy, comfortable and safe.

Relationships require work and effort and at times you will find yourself in positions where you might need to compromise for and with your partner. But compromise doesn’t equal control or ownership Choma. No matter how long you have been in a relationship with someone, remember that you still have the right to your own body and own life.

Remember, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).