Getting into a new relationship is always exciting. But sometimes you can get caught up in your own idea of love and affection without understanding your partner’s expectations. This is why communication, even in the beginning of a relationship, is so important.  Boundaries a person has in a relationship is basically anything they are will to do or not do. This can be anything from an activity to their personal values and their privacy. Here are a few ways you might be disrespecting your partner’s boundaries without realising it.

Constantly posting about them on social media

Posting about your partner or about your relationship on social media is not wrong, but doing it too often could make your partner uncomfortable – especially if they are private people and prefer to keep some parts of your relationship just between the two of you. It’s also important to respect your partner’s personal privacy by not posting their personal information online. Check with them first what they are comfortable with sharing on social media. For more info on being careful with what you post online, read this article here.

Logging into their phone when they’re not looking

It’s not okay to disrespect your partner’s privacy Choma. Even if you’re just checking for something randomly on their phone (like for a mutual friend’s number) you should ask for permission first. Privacy and personal space is still very important in a relationship so it’s important to always respect that.

Making plans without letting them know

Surprising your partner once in a while is great, but constantly making plans for the both of you without consulting your partner first is not taking their own time and plans into consideration. Before making plans that involve the two of you, check with your partner first. Also don’t make too many date plans without asking your partner if they are available for it. Remember that you partner has their own life Choma – don’t make decisions for them.

Taking pictures of them when they’re not aware

Taking pictures of your partner while they’re asleep or when they’re not looking can come across as cute but to your partner it can come across as invasive, especially if you do it too often. Unplanned, natural pictures are great but taking pictures your partner might not be comfortable with (especially if you share this with others) is not okay. Don’t post any pictures of your partner on social media without their permission and don’t take pictures of them that you know they wouldn’t approve of.

Showing up unannounced/uninvited

Sometimes your partner might want time alone or with their friends and family and allowing them to enjoy this time is important. Call them before you visit or show up, just out of respect for their time.

A good relationship is not just built on love and passion, but on trust, communication and respect as well. Try to understand your partner by understanding their boundaries so that you don’t overstep them. Of course Choma, this goes two ways – your partner should understand and respect your boundaries too. Learning to talk to each other is the best way to develop trust and respect.

For relationship advice on this topic read these articles

How to create healthy boundaries in your relationship

Advice for your first relationship

Remember, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).