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Are cold sores herpes? 

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Herpes is a sexually transmitted infection (STI) and it’s quite common. Although herpes does cause small, painful blisters that often turn into sores – it’s not always a visible infection so the only way you’d know whether you have herpes or not is if you go for a STI screening. Something that has long been associated with herpes is cold sores (sores around the lips) so it’s understandable if you’re worried that you or your partner might be affected. Here’s more:

Cold sores are generally associated with Herpes  

You may have first heard that cold sores are caused by fruit or something else that you eat. However, cold sores are actually herpes simplex virus-1 (HSV-1). Herpes simplex virus-1 usually causes sores around your lips, in your mouth or the inside of your nose. Herpes simplex virus-1 is a little different to herpes simplex virus-2, which causes genital sores and is sexually transmitted.

How does someone get cold sores?

Although herpes is known as a STI, cold sores are not always sexually transmitted. For most people who get, or have gotten, cold sores – they most likely got them when they were young. Cold sores are often spread to children by others (probably an adult) who have the virus.

You won’t always develop a cold sore if you have herpes simplex virus-1, but you can have the virus. Sometimes the virus can stay dormant in your body for a long time without you knowing. What often causes symptoms of the virus to activate are certain stressors like fever, stress, sunlight, cold weather, menstruation, pregnancy, certain foods and medications or other infections.

It’s important to know that cold sores are highly contagious so if you or someone close to you has a cold sore, avoid kissing or touching near the sore. It’s also important for you and your partner to get screened for STIs so that you can avoid infecting each other. Herpes can also be passed on through oral sex so avoid having any sex without protection and treatment.

Having a cold sore is nothing to be ashamed of because it could happen to anyone. Most people develop cold sores as children so they can’t be blamed for it. However, it’s good to just be aware that it can be contagious so it’s best to get treatment from your healthcare practitioner if you do develop a cold sore. Also avoid any sexual activity with your partner without protection or treatment and avoid sharing lipsticks, lip balms or objects that you use close to your mouth with others.  

Remember,

While there is still a lot of discrimination against anyone who is part of the LGBTQIA (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer/Questioning, Intersex, Asexual) community, a lot of people are unlearning the long-time myths about being LGBTQIA  and, thankfully, becoming more accepting of same-sex relationships. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being anything other than heterosexual (straight) but it can be understandably difficult when it’s your partner questioning their sexuality. So what can you do in that situation? Here’s some advice:

Provide an ear 

It might be hard initially, but it’s important that you support them during this process by being non-judgmental and creating a safety net for their emotions – especially since it must’ve been hard for them to open up to you. This experience can be both nerve-wracking and exciting for them, so listen to your partner without interruption and acknowledge their feelings. That way, you will both be able to learn more about each other.

Don’t put a label on it

During this process of your partner’s self-exploration, avoid the urge to define their sexuality by putting a label on it because it will put unnecessary pressure on them. It’s okay for them not to be sure, feelings of confusion are normal. However, it’s best you let them go through this in a way that’s best for them.

You can assure them that they are not alone

No matter how different your partner’s sexuality is, you should reassure them that there are plenty of people that are just like them and that they’re not alone. Being a support system to your partner during this process will mean a lot to them.

Express your feelings

Now that you know that your partner is questioning their sexuality, it is only fair for you to be honest and tell them how you feel so that your feelings are not disregarded and they know where you stand.

Although this will bring up different feelings on your side, there’s no need to jump into conclusions and assume that the relationship is over because your partner discovered that they might be attracted to a different gender – unless they express that that’s what they want. Although this advice will help your partner get through what they’re experiencing – you’re not pressured to follow it if you’re not comfortable Choma. You might feel differently about your relationship but just remember that is important to have an open and honest discussion with your partner.

Also remember that , if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send a Facebook message, an  Instagram message or a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

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