Breaking the Silence: Assault Against Men
Have you ever heard someone say that men can’t be physically assaulted because they’re stronger or that they can’t be raped because they always want sex? If you have, it’s probably because abuse against men is still considered taboo. The truth is, men are abused too, and we don’t talk about it enough. Let’s shed light on assault against men.
Why We Don’t Talk About It
From a young age, boys are taught to hide their emotions and to never see themselves as victims because they are meant to be “stronger.” Phrases like “man up” and “toughen up” are often drilled into them when they face challenges.
This societal conditioning makes it difficult for men to process emotional distress, especially when they find themselves in abusive relationships. Men are often discouraged from speaking out, fearing they won’t be believed or, worse, ridiculed. This silences their experiences and keeps abuse hidden.
Why We Should Talk About It
Abuse and assault can happen to anyone, regardless of their gender. The trauma that follows is real, and everyone deserves to feel safe. It’s important to acknowledge that men can be victims too. It’s not a sign of weakness to speak up—it’s a human right to live free from violence.
Creating a safe space for men to talk about their abuse without fear of judgment will empower them to seek help. When men know they’re not alone, they’ll be more likely to report abuse and receive the support they need.
What Not to Do
If a man opens up to you about being assaulted, here’s what not to do:
- Make fun of the situation: It’s never okay to laugh at someone’s pain.
- Shame their masculinity: Abuse is about power, not weakness.
- Tell them to toughen up: Suppressing emotions only makes it harder to heal.
- Say they wanted it: Assault is never the victim’s fault.
- Discourage them from expressing their emotions: Validating their feelings is the first step to recovery.
The Lasting Impact
The effects of assault can be devastating, lingering for years. When a man tries to speak out and is met with disbelief or indifference, it makes it even harder to heal. Abuse takes a toll physically, mentally, and emotionally. Having a support system that acknowledges that abuse can happen to anyone—men included—makes all the difference.
Are You Ready to Break the Silence, Choma?
It’s time to start talking about abuse against men and to create an environment where they feel comfortable speaking up. If you or someone you know is dealing with the aftermath of assault, don’t hesitate to reach out.
If you need advice or support, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, or send a message through Facebook, Twitter DM, or WhatsApp at 071 172 3657.
Together, we can break the silence.