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Having sex – when, where, how and with who – should always be a choice that someone makes for themselves. One of the decisions about sex that also needs to be respected – is deciding not to have sex. A lot of people decide to wait until they’re ready to have sex and that’s a perfectly normal, positive and healthy decision to make. However, when you decide to wait until you are ready and for the right reasons when you are mentally, emotionally and physically ready, some people through peer pressure, may have their own unfair judgments. So here are myths about people who decide to wait to have sex.
They’re Prudes
A ‘prude’ is generally described as someone who is too sensitive or shy to talk about anything that has to do with sex or nudity. Deciding not to have sex doesn’t mean that you’re grossed out by, or afraid of, sex. You can be perfectly comfortable talking about sex and still feel like you’re just not ready to have it.
They’re Boring
Not having sex doesn’t mean that you’re boring. You really don’t have to have sex to be seen as fun or cool. You can be funny, adventurous, outgoing and bubbly and still not want to have sex. Not having sex doesn’t define your personality.
They get too attached
Some people think that people who don’t have sex will most likely become attached to the first person they have sex with. Yes, sex can be an emotional experience for people (no matter how often they have sex) but it doesn’t mean that not having sex automatically makes you a clingy or needy person. It could just mean that you’re waiting for the right person and the right time.
They’re religious
Not wanting to have sex is not always for religious reasons. Each person, religious or not, could have their own reasons for not having sex. Abstaining from sex, or delaying it, is a completely personal decision and every person should have the right to their own personal reasons.
They’re female
There’s often an assumption that only females wait until they’re older or until they’re ready to have sex. Yes, boys are pressured more than girls to have sex at an earlier age – but just because someone is male you can’t assume that they want to have sex all the time. It doesn’t matter who you are – your age, race or gender, it is perfectly fine to wait until you are ready.
It’s important to stay away from stereotypes regardless of how often someone has or doesn’t have sex. Choma, it’s completely okay if you decide that you’re not ready to have sex. Everyone should have the right to choose and absolutely no one should be shamed for it.
For more articles on this topic, read:
What influences our views on sex?
How to tell someone you’re not ready for sex
Slut-shaming: What it is and why it’s wrong
Remember, if you or a friend need help or advice, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).
