Stealthing: What it is and why it’s sexual assault

What Is Stealthing, Choma?

Have you heard about stealthing? It’s a disturbing act where someone removes a condom during sex without their partner’s knowledge or consent.

Imagine this: you and your partner agree to use a condom before or during sex. However, without your knowledge, your partner removes it—knowing you wouldn’t have agreed to it. Many people are now speaking out about it, even though it’s not a new issue.

Why Is Stealthing a Problem?

Stealthing is also known as non-consensual condom removal, and it’s a violation of your right to make decisions about your body.

When someone removes a condom you agreed to use, they are violating your consent. Consent is not a “once-off” agreement. Just because you said yes to one thing doesn’t mean you agreed to something else.

Here’s what consent means:

• Saying yes to kissing doesn’t mean saying yes to sex.
• Saying yes to vaginal sex doesn’t mean saying yes to anal sex.
• Saying yes to sex with a condom doesn’t mean saying yes to sex without a condom.

Any sexual activity without your consent is sexual assault.

The Risks of Stealthing

Stealthing not only violates your right to consensual sex, but it also puts you at risk of:

• Unplanned pregnancy
• Sexually transmitted infections (STIs), including HIV

This act is a violation of your sexual and reproductive rights.

Is Stealthing Illegal?

Yes, stealthing can be considered a form of rape or sexual assault.

In a recent case, a man was found guilty of rape after removing a condom without his partner’s consent. She agreed to protected sex, and when he took off the condom without her knowing, he violated her consent.

You have the right to report stealthing as sexual assault. It’s a serious offense, and no one has the right to take away your decision to have safe sex.

Why Some People Don’t Take Stealthing Seriously

Some people don’t see stealthing as sexual assault, but it can cause the same emotional and psychological trauma as other forms of rape.

• It puts women at risk of STIs and unwanted pregnancy.
• The term “stealthing” makes it sound like a harmless act, but it’s not—it’s a serious violation of consent and trust.

Where to Get Help

If you’ve experienced stealthing or any form of sexual assault, you’re not alone, Choma. Help is available:

• Rape Crisis 24-Hour Helpline: 021 447 9762
• POWA (People Opposing Women Abuse): 011 642 4345/6
• LifeLine Toll-Free Helpline: 0800 055 555

You can also reach out to me for advice on Ask Choma through:

• Facebook Message
• Twitter DM
• WhatsApp: 071 172 3657

Remember, Choma, you have the right to protect your body and your health. No one can take that away from you.